TBF, he's probably half way there already!!

I'll be sat on the drum kit in the bar under our stand.
Come and say hello.

There's a long bar, (bar = one of those things you buy beer from), under our stand, (stand = an area of seats we'll all be sat in). Inside the bar, under the stand, is a stage (a slightly raised area for performing artists), which usually has a drum kit (things you smack with wooden sticks to make sounds) on it.
That shall be my location, before, at half-time, and during the game, if as usual, were getting beat by them.

I'll probably be on large JD's with a splash of coke, so don't go spending all this weeks pocket money.

Well I'm taking a young bird down on the Friday night.
I'll be firing a rake of viagra down so you'll definitely spot me.
I'll be playing them drums with my nob.

You're using EXPRO to play the drums?

EXPRO will be there, but he'll be busy watching the 'island'.

PMSL

Do not undestimate EXPROS tickling stick.