Songs at Salford

Was started back in late 90s about city. Here is the full version of verses:

They've got the tallest floodlights in the world,
They've got the tallest floodlights in the world,
They've got the tallest floodlights in the world,
Cause City are a MASSIVE club!

* They've got Curly Watts as a celebrity fan...
* They had a continental Laser Blue Kappa Kit...
* They had the widest pitch in the Nationwide...
* They're going to turn Manchester into Milan...
* They had the future England captain but his cruciate's gone...
* They wanted a civic reception when they'd won f**k all...
* They've got 54 players and they're all f**king s**te...
* They signed Spencer Prior on deadline day...
* They've got the Gallagher brothers in the Guvernors...
* They've got 3 Gold Stars on their new club badge...
* They took a quarter of a million to Ewood Park...
* They've got 3007 in a temporary stand...
* They've got the tallest corner flags in the world...
* They go to Cardiff and Wrexham on their Euro Aways...
* They won the Shamrock Trophy in ‘92...
* They had Ryan Giggs on schoolboy forms...
* They've got a dirty old slapper with a rusty bell...
* They're "The only football team to come from Manchester"...
* They take 25,000 to every away...
* They've got salt and pepper on their hot dog stands...
* They had 17 managers in 20 years...
* They've got a gypsy curse on their massive pitch....
* Their best player ever played for Ajax reserves...
* They had a derby match with Macclesfield...
* They had Colin Bell who was "better than Best"(!)...
* They bought Steve Daly for a million quid...
* They tried to sign Geoff Thomas but he turned'em down...
* They dominated Europe in '68...
* They had the tallest floodlights in the Football League...
* They've got 'tile on a roll' in the Oasis suite...
* They've got undersoil heating on Economy Seven...
* They get their corporate furniture from DFS...
* On the island of Bermuda there's a Sean Goater day...
* They sell GM onions on their burger vans...
* They've got 23 fans on the Hoolie List...
* All their foreign players think they're joining us...
* They had to stop playing Cooke 'cos he'd cost too much...
* They sing about Munich to remember Frank Swift...
* They pay their own supporters to watch them get thrashed...
* The Council's built 'em a ground 'cos they're f**kin' skint...
* They had George Weah who thinks he's Terry Waite...
* They'd open a museum but they've nothing to show...
* They let David Pleat dance all over their pitch...
* Man United ruined their lives...
* They've got Ian Bishop lifting shirts...
* They had a short fat georgian but he f**ked 'em off...
* They stole Blue Moon from the mighty Crewe...
* There'll be 10 blue b*****ds for every red...
* They've got got the hottest water in their baths...
* They've got vertical blinds in their Chairman's office...
* They play at Gresty Road and Edgeley Park...
* They invade their pitch when they win 3 points...
* They've got a farmyard animal and they play him up front...
* They've got three million fans in Manchester...
* It's been 29 years and they've won f**k all...
* They'll stay up for 3 seasons - autumn, winter and spring...
* They empty Stockport when they play at home...
* They've got four different stands from a Meccano kit...
* All their fans live 10 minutes from Maine Road...
* They've got the biggest bananas in the land...
* They've got a centre forward with grooves in his head...
* Their managers got a papier mache head...
* You can see Old Trafford from the Kippax Stand...
* They'll be relegated by bonfire night...
* They've got Greenalls bitter in the Kippax Stand...
* They've got the greenest grass in the whole of the world...
* They hounded Swales' mam into an early grave...
* They've been relegated ten times...
* They had a chairman and a manager that wore a wig...
* They've got Bernard Manning as their fattest fan...
* They used to be little, but now they're large...
* They sing racist chants, coz they've got no class...
* They've got seats behind the net called the Colin Bell End...
* We had Black and white tellies when they won the league...
* It takes the nit nurse twelve months to check Joe Royle's head...
* When we did the double double, they bombed our town...
* All the Moss Side kids wear United shirts...
* All city shirts are extra large...
* They're a 5 minute walk from curry mile...
* They've got a million ball boys on their books...
* Stevie Coppell went there and they drove him mad...
* Their Big Match Mascot is from Outer Space...
* Jean Michel Jarre played at Maine Road...
* They've joined up with Cherry Orchard...
* They had the second best team in Division Two...
* They had the third best team in Division Three...
* They get a million web site hits every day...
* They skin up joints as big as havanna cigars...
* They've got a hundred million members in the Junior Blues...
* They drink steins of lager instead of pints...
* They grow prize winning veg in their back gardens...
* They've got scores of verses in their massive song...
* They sold second-hand seats to York City...
* They've got a GIANT scoreboard at Maine Road...
* They had the lowest crowd in the Cup Winners Cup...
* They had a great time in the lower leagues...
* They bought Rodney Marsh to win the league...
* They tried to help Villa to win the league...
* They've beat United once in 20 years...
* They tried to sign the tallest striker in Europe... (That's the 100th verse)
* They had a relegation decider on the opening day...
* They could have bought Figo for a million pounds...
* They moved their training ground to be next to ours...
* They spent more than United in the close season...
* When they signed George Weah they were on CNN...
* Stockport put four past them at Edgeley Park...
* They went down the season after winning the league...
* Their only decent player's on a pension cheque...
* They copied their away kit from AC Milan...
* They sell the most merchandise in Manchester...
* They've won fewer leagues than Huddersfield Town...
* They went forward with Franny to Division 2...
* *Cheer up Kevin Keegan* tipped them to win the League...
* Alfie Haaland's got a anti Man Utd site...
* They've got the softest bog rolls - care of Franny Lee...
* They had Georgie Weah with his shiny red boots...
* They need 11 new players if they want to stay up...
* They've got 40,000 on their waiting list...
* Fifteen years on and it's still 5-1...
* Steve Lomas timewasted and down they went...
* They had the world's tallest player in Niall Quinn...
* They've got Shaun Wright-Phillips who's the new Pele...
* They've got Nicky Weaver who's worth 16 Mil...
* They've got Alfie Haaland, the world's fittest player...
* They say Goater is a cult, but they really mean ...
* They got beaten 4-0 on the opening day...
* It'll be 25 years in 2001...
* They'll be playing in the Nationwide again next year...
* They had Kennedy thrown out of the Ireland squad...
* They were the third team to win the League Cup twice...
* They boo their own captain 'cos they're loyal fans...
* They had Joe Royle opening a Makro store...
* Their whole squad's worth less than United's best player...
* Their League Cup triumph's out on Beta-Max...
* They dropped their captain 'cos he scored an own goal...
* They've only won 9 trophies in their history...
* They have a record number of stabbings in Platt Fields Park...
* Their best ever keeper preferred to sit on our bench...
* Howard Kendal left them and Coppell went mad...
* Their most successful player is the goalkeeping coach...
* Their new centre half couldn't get in a crap Rangers team...
* They've got Paulo Wanchope who's dicks bigger than Yorke's...
* They beat the future Treble Winners away from home...
* They help Man United to win the League...
* You can see New York from the floodlights...
* Their kit man's got the biggest stud spanner in the world...
* They signed Roy Castle but he didn't last long...
* They signed Roecastle and he was worse...
* You can buy ouzzi rifles from their souvenir shop...
* They won the football league down at Elland Road...
* They've got an overspill car park in Cheadle Hulme...
* They go to Barcelona in their wettest dreams...
* They've got a sky blue carpet in their trophy room...
* The only cups they have are in the canteen...
* They signed Wanchope 'coz he scored at OT...
* They're World Famous on Moss Side...
* They got 17,000 in the Worthington Cup...
* Joe Royle's dad is a red...
* They're the best supported club in the House of Commons...
* And it's forward with Franny and Swales out...
* They paid 3 million pounds for Bradbury...
* They're moving to Eastlands coz Maine Rd's so Big...
* They play at places like Sincil Bank...
* They play in the first round of the Worthington Cup...
* They've got cobwebs not trophies in their cabinet...
* They get 30,000 nearly every week...
* They sold all their best players who could have kept them up...
* They trashed their own pubs cos Millwall went home...
* Keithie Curle was Mark Hughes' best mate...
* They ran back in the North Stand cos they shat their pants...
* They had a German car thief in their midfield...
* Tony Coton left to be a red reserve...
* They had Coppell as manager for 41 days...
* They celebrate on the pitch before they go up...
* They're hospitable to neighbours - gave County 4 points...
* They've got a 100% record - in the play-offs...
* Their attendances are higher in s**tty leagues...
* They scored six past Swindon, and still went down...
* They've got the fattest hooligans in their team...
* They say Nicky Butt's got a City Tatoo...
* They've got Joe Royle on the minimum wage...
* They pay the first team with magic beans...
* They had the biggest ground in England in 1923...
* They've got Paul Calf as a typical fan...
* We were playing in Porto they were at Grimsby...
* We were in Monte Carlo they were at Huddersfield...
* They tried to borrow kit from the Parkside pub...
* They've got the hottest pies in the football league...
* They've got Lara Croft as a celebrity fan...
* They're sponsored by a computer game...
* They've got the queerest keeper in the football league...
* They're having a massive street party in their Jubilee year...
* Their most famous song is sung by reds...
* Weah f**ked 'em off after less than 3 months...
* They get all their managers from Everton...
* They're 30 mins walk from the Metrolink...
* United even knicked their tannoy man...
* Potatoehead turned Inglund down to coach the blues...
* They'll have spiral exits on their new council ground...
* A World Player of the Year couldn't get in their team... (That's the 200th verse)
* They've got a 'Feed the Goat' section on Soccer AM...
* They scored the best own goal in a Cup Final...
* They've had more bosses than the mafia...
* All their players are at home on international weeks...
* Their most famous goal was scored by a red...
* They use snide journos for publicity...
* They had John Bond and his useless son...
* They had Malcolm Allison and his massive cigars...
* They had Peter Swales and his massive wig...
* They had the stuttering winger Peter Barnes...
* They had the great Colin Bell until Buchans lunge...
* They've had loads of cup semis on their massive pitch...
* They had an African pensioner but he f**ked em off...
* They were the 4th team in town behind Stockport and Bury...
* You can see their massive pitch from the massive blue moon...
* They had Alan Ball with his squeaky voice...
* They won a play off final the week we did the treble...
* They've got the heaviest player in the League...
* Paul Hince has won the Pullitzer Prize...
* You could get into Maine Rd by climbing a wall...
* They've got the shiniest boots in the Football League...
* There's more reds than blues in the Parkside pub...
* They've got the sturdiest goal posts in the Football League...
* The Guvernors had Stone Island before anyone else...
* Their North stand got run in their finest hour...
* They had Brian Horton - who the f**k is he?...
* They've got extra wide turnstiles for their MASSIVE fans...
* They come from Cheshire but pretend they're Manc...
* Their ground's the first on MOTD's opening credits...
* A Goater miss is a massive miss...
* They've had a curb crawler skipping round their pitch...
* They rated Buster Phillips at 10 million pounds...
* Their fans have children who support the reds...
* They field a full strength team in the Worthington Cup...
* They've got a silver second kit for the anniversary...
* They've got the fastest team bus in the Premier League...
* David May is a MASSIVE fan...
* Summerbee's son was a red...
* They've got Gary Owen as their bitterest fan...
* They take their 'Feed the Goat' banners on England-aways...
* Since they last won a trophy we've won eighteen...
* They're the second best team in the whole of Stockport...
* They're the best supported team in the whole of Rochdale...
* Their programme's got more pages than anyone else...
* Their shop in the Arndale shut-down after six months...
* You never see a blue shirt on Coranation Street...
* Other fans sing 'city are from Manchester'...
* The kids who support city are the ones who get picked on...
* The dads who support city are the ones that get picked on...
* Noel and Liam hardly ever go...
* Joe's real name is Mr. Potato-head...
* Their best players would'nt make our third team...
* They've got a former United star as Goalkeeping coach...
* They wanted Kiddo but he turned em down...
* Sky own 10% just like they do with us...
* They've got Frank Sidebottom with his MASSIVE head...
* They'll be be in Europe soon coz Joe Royle said...
* There brand new ground holds less that Old Trafford...
* They've got a piece of turf in their trophy room...
* They've got a Wembley Playoff Rememberance Kit...
* They've put the play-off final on their honours list...
* It's the Referee's fault when they lose five nil...
* They copy our songs 'cos they can't write their own...
* They were a top 5 club in 1892 ..
* They had a player suspended for bribery ...
* Their oldest ever player was 49...
* They were the League's highest scorers but still went down...
* They've had the same floodlights since '53...
* They were the first team promoted after World War Two ...
* They've had 20 managers since World War Two...
* They had the "hole-hearted" Hartford in midfield ...
* They haven't won the FA cup since '69 ...
* They had 5 different grounds before Maine Road ...
* They've got a Latin phrase on their massive badge ..
* They had Bert Trautmann and his broken neck ...
* They had Gary Owen who had no neck ...
* Keith Curle said "Watch out United"...
* They said Rick Holden was "world class"...
* They use United's name to sell their books...
* All their "die hard" fans are from Altrincham...
* They want the new Nike ball coz its really round...
* They've got MASSIVE carparks for all their non-Manc fans...
* Their Fans are so bitter they sweat lemon juice...
* They've got reinforced seats for their MASSIVE fans...
* They've got the roundest centre circle in the Football League...
* They've got the straightest lines on a football pitch...
* They had Matt Busby in his playing days...
* They wanted Ralphie Milne but we told them "f**k OFF"...
* They crocked Dennis Irwin in his tesimonial...
* Barry Town were in Europe when they were at Stoke...
* They've got a guard dog to guard their ground...
* They have reinforced toilets for their MASSIVE fans...
* They've got MASSIVE lawn mowers for their MASSIVE pitch...
* They had the tallest ladders for their tallest floodlights...
* They had a record signing in Keith Curle...
* Their massive attendance record was when United played there...
* Their Chairman does the books for f**k...
* Neil Young became a milkman when he retired...
* ...And they still haven't given him a testimonial...
* Their fans sing "It's just like being in church" at away games... (That's the 300th verse)
* Only genuine Mancunians are allowed in at Maine Road...
* There's laser blue poppin' up all over New York...
* Dennis Tueart is balder than Bobby Charlton...
* Prawn sandwiches are banned at Maine Road...
* They've got the largest bath plugs in the league...
* They sacked a good Manager in Peter Reid...
* They were 5th in the league when they sacked Peter Reid...
* They were runners up in the Full Members Cup...
* The Whitley brothers are better than the Nevilles...

· * There's more Manchester based junior blues than worldwide cub scouts...
* Brain Horton got more frontpages than Becks and Posh...
* They're the reason Manchester got the Commonwealth Games...
* Alex Ferguson doesn't bother turning up to the derby...
* They've got luminous socks on their new Silver kit...
* They've got more gold stars than McDonalds staff...
* They won more than United in the seventies...
They're the better team when they lose 5-nil...
* They sell student tickets - but they're all local fans...
* They changed their name before Newton Heath did...
* They play ten at the back and can't keep a clean sheet...
* They had a Georgian superstar who couldn't drive straight...
* They've got two players with double-barreled names...
* They put their Central League wins on their honours list...
* Don Brennan followed them on his one leg...
* Their 'Gaffer' sold us Denis Irwin for 3/4 of a mill...
* Their future England keeper got lobbed from the spot...
* They have got the naffest away strip in the Premier League...
* They had Summerbee (who was bumming Lee)...
* They've got a MASSIVE ground in a housing estate ...
* Their fat goalie can't get in the England squad ...
* They've got Wanchope and his MASSIVE rubber legs ...
* They've got Andy Morisson and his MASSIVE waist ...
* They got coloured netting before anyone else ...
* Their executive boxes have seats outside...
* They had a player with the same name as an astronaut...
* They've loaned last month's captain to Birmingham...
* They've got "Starsky" Kennedy who jumps on cars...
* They've won absolutely nothing for 25 years...
* They chuck chips and curry at visiting fans...
* They lent their MASSIVE pitch to the Reds who scored ten...
* They're so much BIGGER than Accrington Stanley...
* They had a MASSIVE 'keeper called Frankenstein...
* They signed a MASSIVE star from Bolton Wanderers...
* The Kippax is "taller than Old Trafford's North Stand"...
* Howard Kendall left them for an older woman...
* Only ciddy fans understand the Offside rule...
* There's a sauna in the ciddy dressing room...
* Eastlands will be full every other week...
* Frank Clark turned down Barcelona to manage them...
* Uwe Rosler was ciddy's Mark Hughes...
* Colin Bell is a wine-waiter in the Silver Suite...
* Kevin Phillips can't wait to join ciddy...
* Alan Ball has won more World Cups than Fergie...
* All their season-ticket holders free balti pies...
* Every ciddy player has a ciddy tattoo...
* All the ciddy Directors are self-made millionaires...
* No one at ciddy watches football on Sky...
* Irwin chose ciddy for his testimonial...
* Every ciddy fan is a shareholder...
* David Bernstein wears a better wig than Peter Swales...
* Curle pointed at the goal and Giggsy scored...
* They once had five managers in only six months...
* They've got more fans than United.........if you include the ABU's...
* They want Dion Dublin for his MASSIVE dick...
* Tueart f**ked em off to play in LA...
* They don't throw pennies, they throw two pound coins...
* They couldn't get Oasis to sponsor their kit...
* They think it's cool to wear replica shirts...
* Shaun Goater is better than Hughes...
* You get a free pac-a-mac if it rains...
* Curle got 2 England caps in one game, his first & last....
* They play on a gypsy caravan site....
* City are everybody's second team....
* They scored two goals and got beat 3-2....
* They're all Mancs but Weah supported them as a boy...
* They scored 4 goals in the ZDS final...
* They let in 5 goals in the ZDS final...
* They concede at least four goals on every London away...
* They've got a gymnasium under the pitch...
* They won 88 minutes of the derby...
* They donate money to our best players...
* They've got the poor man's Beatles as part-time fans...
* They threw money to Beckham coz he's f**kin class...
* They've got plastic kestrels on the Kippax Stand...
* They've got a short d Aussie mad man with a comedy nose...
* The biggest stars at ciddy are the ones on their socks...
* They've had the most broken necked 'keepers since time began...
* They want Les Ferdinand cos he has a MASSIVE dick too ..
* Becks beat Weaver from a long way away...
* They lost 5-0 the day we won 5-0 ...
* They had two in the wall for Beckham's kick ...
* Manchester United only beat them 1-0...
* They bid for Conceiciao, he laughed his off...
* Ian Wrights son is a like his dad...
* They've got a talentless Aussie with a MASSIVE gob...
* They even make their own mascots cry...
* They've got Shaun Goater who's the next Mark Hughes...
* They've got Richard Littlejohn to do their PR...
* They need two grounds for all their fans...
* They've got the biggest dugout in the world... (That's the 400th verse)
* They do the four minute mile down Oxford Road...
* Weah come and he wanna go home...
* They've got the whitest touchlines in the land...
* Their tickets for away games go on open sale...
* They had their tickets stolen for Villa Park...
* Liam Gallagher said; he was at first a red..
* Noel changed his mind and now they aren't mates...
* They've got the best young striker but he's never scored a goal...
* They've got Ian Wright as a die-hard celebrity fan...
* Their brand new pitch will be 12 miles wide...
* Reds say their blues to take the on 606...
* We they win 5-0 they're over the blue moon...
* They want Dalgleish with his MASSIVE ...
* They've got Bernhard Manning with his MASSIVE stomach...
* They say big Joe Royle should next England manager...
* They've got Mancunian fans with cockney accents...
* They've got Mancunian fans with Irish accents...
* They've got Mancunian fans with Yorkshire accents...
* You can feed all of Europe with Joe's potatohead...
* They're the reason why Manchester didn't get the Olympics...
* FA Cup third round is a MASSIVE achievement...
* Nicky Weaver is England's eighth-choice...
* Blueview is a MASSIVE website...
* Mani ripped Noel on Soccer AM...
* They say no reds turned-up as they ran on derby-day...
* They think that Stockport is the centre of Manchester...
* They say the submarine song is "an absolute disgrace"...
* But them singing Munich is "a funny -take"...
* Father Christmas is a MASSIVE Red-hating, lazer blue ...
* They say they'll be in Europe next season, when they mean the Nationwide...
* When Joe's big-head is in front of the sun there is a solar eclipse...
* Nicky Weaver is elligable for their womens team...
* They say their gonna a sign world-class striker after every defeat...
* Joe caused a famine in Ireland when he left with his MASSIVE head...
* Mr Potatohead from ToyStory is based on Joe Royle...
* The word MASSIVE in the dictionary has Man City written next to it ...
* They sing Who Let The Goat Out - a classic song...
* The fans try to be witty but just sound like pricks...
* Paul likes to show his Dickov during the game...
* They take the , but only out of themselves...
* They sing "Royle out" if they lose a game...
* Laurel and Hardy were celebrity fans...
* They think Jesus would sing 'Munich' if he went to Maine Road...
* They've got the wettest pitch in the Premier League...
* They want Cardiff in the cup for more Euro aways...
* They borrow United's covers when it rains...
* They borrow United's groundsmen 'cos they ain't got their own...
* George Weah said "Do you play in Red?"......
* They can't afford a ground or a training pitch......
* Bertie Magoo is a Rossendale blue......
* They've got the Costa Rica's coaches favourite player...
* They've got MASSIVE puddles on their MASSIVE pitch......
* They're goin down on their silver jubilee......
* Bob the Builder's won more cups than them...
* They have the biggest numbers on the back of their shirts...
* They score own goals from the halfway line...
* They've got no players in the England team...
* After 93 Seconds - they were one-nil down...
* They threw their dole money at Beckham's head...
* They have no roofs on two of their stands...
* They've got the biggest programme in the League...
* They evacuate their ground when they're 3 - 0 down...
* They've got a plastic seagull hanging from the Kippax Stand...
* They're the subject of a Phone-in conspiracy...
* They go crying to the papers when we wind 'em up...
* Their groundsmen's left them coz the pitch was too big...
* 4 people on a phone in can rock the boat...
* Gary Owen's never seen city play bad...
* Stepney is a spy and he's made Weaver s**te...
* MASSIVE MASSIVE MASSIVE,MASSIVE MASSIVE MASSIVE...
* Franny Lee's wig was made from pubic hair...
* Nicky Weaver f**ked a bloke in some bogs...
* They're chuffed to f**k if we only draw...
* They've been banned from talking on 606...
* Curly Watts hit the bottle 'cos the football was s**te...
* Their shares are not allowed on the Stock Exchange...
* They sang "Two-Nil up and f**ked it up"...
* Even Ian Bishop went and f**ked 'em off...
* They've got a Grange Hill extra and he plays on the wing...
* They've got a south-facing pitch to catch the sun...
* They haven't sacked a manager for four whole years...
* They sold Trevor Francis coz couldn't afford his pay...
* Stockport County want them as a feeder club...
* They've got their very own page on teletext...
* They sold their best ever striker to Torino...
* There's a massive fake market in their lazer blue shirts...
* They signed a Russian to captain their sub...
* They claim they had a player who scored 10 goals in a row...
* They get massive licking from the Evening News...
* They've got Stuart Hall as a celebrity thief...
* You can watch their new stadium being built on the internet...
* They got ted in Moss Side by Coventry...
* They ca'nt fill their ground in an FA Cup match...
* They've sold the 3rd most shirts in the British Isles...
* They gave Paulo Wanchope the chop...
* The biggest cups at siddy are in Lara Croft's bras...
* They had the Goal of the Season disallowed...
* They had Adie Mike who's a Conference star...
* They've got two brothers called Jeff and Jim...
* In training they karate-chop planks of wood... (That's the 500th verse)
* They sign a new loan player every week...
* They see sports psycologists for therapy...
* Their substitutes buy houses for half a million quid...
* They have the biggest ketchup bottles in the world...
* They have the biggest burgers in the league...
* They've got the whole football league on their books...
* They signed 3 foreign players in one day...
* They've got 3 figure shirt numbers...
* They put their Club Captain on the transfer list...
* They play 10 against 12 - away from home...
* Dickoff's like a character from 'The Holy Grail'...
* They've got the biggest changing rooms in the land...
* They've been robbed more times than Victoria Wine...
* Wesley Brown could have been a blue...
* They've got a called Tiatto who's better than Giggs...
* The sinking sub gave the chop to the subbed wanchope...
* They got 3007, but 4 four were krauts...
* United's Youth Team gets bigger crowds...
* Their fans cheered Rosler's grandad in his Heinkel bomber...
* They've got the worst plumbing in the Premier League...
* They send Fire Engines 'cos they've got no lads...
* They gave 180 quid towards the Silver Do...
* They do the biggest one-two's in the world...
* They've got a sheep shagging reject called Huckerby ..
* Giggsy left them when he was three ...
* Ian Wright's love child is their biggest hope ...
* 17 managers just couldn't cope ...
* Ask their old captain what he thinks of those fans ...
* They couldnt sign Lomas whose a gingered haired ...
* Weaver and Dickov are very fat ...
* They think Goater's as good as Yorke coz their both from the Carribbean...
* They've got Shaun s**te Phillips as a super sub...
* They've got Huckerby who passes better than Beckham...
* They are the reason Noel Gallaghers addicted to drugs...
* We have more Spice Girls as our fans...
* Kanchelskis only plays to pay the mob...
* Richard Dunne weighs more than their trophy room...
* Weaver is better than Massimo Taibi...
* Tiatto skins players more than Giggs...
* They've got more Aussies in their squad...
* Huckerby has had more clubs than tiger woods...
* They buy a new player every week...
* They had a thieving b*****d in a Bangkok nick...
* They had David Cassidy play at Maine Road...
* They get a minibus to train before every match...
* They say Sarah-Lou's a bluenose, is she f**k ...
* They win promotion every other year...
* You can see Sheffield from the top of the stand...
* The Eastlands will be handy for the Velodrome...
* They're going to Bell Vue but the zoo has gone...
* They've got a f**king huge bench for their MASSIVE squad......
* Even Rodney Marsh thinks they are crap...
* They've blighted more lives than foot and mouth ...
* They dropped through dropped Weaver's hands into the Nationwide...
* Their kits are made by le coq sportif...
* Their new keeper was signed from the fans 'local' town...
* Carlo Nash was sponsored by a curry house...
* They had a streaker on the pitch who left his OLD city shirt on...
* They had a sit down protest, only one turned up...
* They said the keeper did fine when he let in four goals...
* They've got a calamity keeper worth more than Barthez...
* The crowd are "magnificent" when they leave at half time...
* Australia's world record is under threat...
* They've got Clitheroes keeper - Carlo Nash!...
* They had a ginger manager who's balls hadn't dropped ..
* Like Forest and Blackburn, they're too good to go down...
* They sell more meat pies that The Rags ...
* They sell more potato pies than The Rags ...
* They Never Finish A Season In The Same Division
* Their Away Kit socks can be seen from space......
* They lend their Stewards to Stockport County...
* Their best ever manager was Alan Ball...
* They've got illuminous socks for when their massive lights fail ...
* They lasted a whole season in the Premiership...
* Haaland's got Keano's tattoo on his knee...
* Andrei Kanchelskis is a MASSIVE name...
* England's future keeper is in their reserves...
* They've got Alfie Haaland with a hole in his knee...
* They've got *Cheer up Kevin Keegan* and his MASSIVE perm...
* They have a pitch invaision at their final game...
* They've got a fat Geordie reject in the centre of defence...
* They've got a new boss who's an England reject...
* A beach soccer player wants to play for them...
* Donachie wanted to leave, so they've kidnapped him...
* They've had 20 club managers in 30 years...
* Kevin Keegan said they're a sleeping giant...
* Massive is Keegan's favourite word...
* Alma Baldwin wished them well...
* They signed a player whose career was ended by Andrew Cole...
* They sign players who are already planning to leave...
* They can't go to Millwall cos they're too f**kin hard...
* They've got a Joe Pasquale sound-alike on Century...
* They got *Cheer up Kevin Keegan* on MSN...
* *Cheer up Kevin Keegan*'s not allowed to say the 'M' word...
* They're going into Europe now that Keegans there...
* They've got the Seniors Cup in their trophy room...
* They could have played in Europe but Fowler's a ...
* They've got Paulo Wanchope, who's better than Ali...
* Dwight and Andy shagged a City fan's bird...
* They drive open top buses instead of cars

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