Thank you for your interest in becoming Warrington Wolves new overseas half-back. This welcome pack will help you through the interview process.

Welcome to England – a few handy facts
It rains. Sometimes it rains a lot. Sometimes it even snows.
If you want surfing and barbies, the Mersey ain’t gonna cut it. Try Cornwall
It’s a long way from Australia. Google it. Or buy a map.

Interview Questions
1). I’d like to play in European Super League because
a). It’s a new challenge and a chance to see the varied history and countryside in a wonderful country
b). What’s Europe?
c). I’ve got my eye on an apartment in Melbourne but I’m a couple of million short

2). My favourite hobbies and pastimes are3). My family would be fully supportive of my decision because
a). They see it as an exciting new chapter in our lives
b). They understand this is a wonderful opportunity for my career
c). They don’t care because if we get bored we’ll just naff off home anyway

4). In 10 years time I see myself
a). Reflecting on a varied career on both sides of the world
b). Using sports knowledge gained all over the world to coach the next generation
c). Living on Bondi in a mansion the size of Wales with a hot-tub big enough to float the QE2 in


Please find enclosed an official Warrington Wolves pair of scissors to assist you in cutting up your contract after 3 months when you realise we really weren’t joking about the weather.

Lol. Awesome.

Nice one Morrissey.

Superb pal

5) Do you want your return ticket dated
a) next week
b) next month
c) left open in case I injure myself on the long walk from the plane to the arrivals hall

Lovely stuff.

6) Once you have abandoned the club you must make no contact until 2 years from your leaving date, at which point you may update your Twitter status to reflect your current employment position and request a return.

7) On completion of step 6 you may then re-take steps 1 to 5.

lovely stuff

You missed out the modern day interview technique, where they try to [ithrow[/i the applicant

"So. Tell me a joke"

"I intend to honour my contract"

I couldn't wait to get out of the NRL and into SL*
*unless you are a former Wigan player in which case it isn't a joke (obviously).