ALL BLOOD7Y BRILLIANT

Brad Drews apparent U-Turn has been put down to the fact that he would only be second choice hooker to Britney Blears.
Steve Simms although still angry had calmed down after a late night meeting with Britney.
Simms said " Britneys soft hands and ability at the play the ball will be a huge plus to Salford next year. She has had mouthfulls in the past but just gets on with things. Britney being here makes players like Drew not signing for us not such a bad thing "
Shaun McRae was unobtainable for comment as he was still trying decipher what Martin Offiah had said to him after last nights meeting"

anyone know when the silver fox is off on his all expenses paid annual holiday/scouting/retirement home finding/waste of time trip down under???

salford city reds are reeling today as the true facts of brad drews on/off transfer sarga are revealed.

A club official who will remain nameless explains

" well it was goin so well Brad was driving over the pennines to sign his contract, he stopped for petrol and got ambushed by a extremist group of huddesfield supporters who at knife point, made him drive to the the galfarm and sign for them instead"

our sources who was one of 1st to find out about the event continues:

"Steve (simms) got straight on the phone demanding answers but got a sharp threat from the extremists saying if he didnt back off straight away they'd get Britney too on her way to the trafford centre and make her sign as well which would leave the whole squad deverstated.

Steve got the message load and clear and moved britney to a safe house for the good of the club@"

When asked to comment about this rumour steve simms refused saying he stands by the clubs official statement given to the press.

SALFORD IN TRUTH SHOCK

Salford City Reds today shocked supporters of the club by announcing that they are considering telling fans the truth for once. In a move that will have supporters reeling, the Salford club, who are currently sitting second from bottom in the Super League table, promised to deliver a small amount of truth within the next week.

But in an astonishing twist, it will be left to the fans to decide what the truth actually is with Chief executive Dave Tarry, and football director Steve Simms playing a game of good cop bad cop, whome only one of which will be telling the truth... and the fans will need to make their own minds up as to which senior member of the City Reds it is.

Football Director Simms added...'The Salford club can never be accused again of avoiding the truth. The truth will always be out there, but it's now up to the fans of the club to decide where the truth actually lies. With the new stadium on the horizon, and the announcement that building will commence in the next week with the stadium ready in time for the 2011 season, the signing of a world class superstar and the news that all our best players are about to sign 5 year deals, the truth has to begin somewhere... and now's the time... believe me'

Coach Shaun McRea said 'It's imperitive that some truth is delivered. As a child I played a lot of truth or dare games, and never lied once. Being at this club has got me into the mentality that lies and false dawns are the norm around here, and something has to change. With this new 50/50 scenario out there, it will create a lot of talking points, but we will have the truth available to all our supporters. It's not going to be difficult. A glistening top lip is often a dead give away, and having a moustache can make you more vulnerable in situations like this. Our Chief Exec has a moustache... work it out for yourself... why do you think I shaved mine off ?'.

Chief Executive David Tarry was asked how he felt the fans may react and added 'Butter... I definately prefer butter on my toast'. He also added 'Can marmite be classed as a vegetable ?'

This could be the sign of exciting times ahead for the City Reds, with the recent announcement of harmony in the dressing room, things are on the up. Only time will tell, but one things for sure, the club will be as honest as the day is long... even if they aren't very good.

Reds Get New Stadium

Salford City Reds are delighted to announce the news that the whole of the City has been waiting for, they have landed a deal with American Cleaning Giants Mr Stadium rlMrStadiumrl to launder their playing strip for the 2010 season and beyond. Speaking at a press conference long serving Chairman John Wilkinson OBE had this to say “This is fantastic news for everyone involved at the club, the board, players and fans alike, with the exception of the kid man who is no longer required” he went on to say “we’ve all waited a long time for this news and negotiations have been going for over 10 years now but we can finally say yes, we’ve done it”

Also news coming out of the club this afternoon that the City Reds are pulling out all the stops to bring in top radio pundit and Rugby League expert John from Salford as an adviser for next season, it is believed that John is being brought in to work along side head coach Shaun Mcrae after Director of Football Steve Simms was impressed by his knowledge of the game and his mystical powers of knowing how the team has played despite being 300 miles away from the game.