Bradford Council isn't in financial difficulties, neither is it skint.

The truth is that it currently possesses a surplus of £5,700,000.

Do they fancy buying/running a RL team? they must be bored now the puddle is finished!!

That should stop them wanting to get the best deal they can on behalf of their tax payers.

Yet still can't afford to run a bike to work scheme. Which doesn't actually cost anything.

It's not a massive surplus on the grand scale of things.

What would you have them spend it on?

Heard they need some cash to build an athletics track at Tong.

That would leave a stadium in the South Bradford area primed for upgrading for a more suitable use.

Peanuts relatively. Would you prefer they operated at a loss?

Are you an idiot?

A feasibility study into carrying out a strategic review into the feasibility of creating yet another hole in the heart or puddle in the middle. Conducted by Adeybull International Consulting LLP (registered in the Bahamas or somewhere else warm and tax-friendly).

You really do need to keep up. This is high-powered p issing away of council taxpayers money we are talking about here, and only the professionals know how to really screw the public.

I apologise.

What about a City of Culture bid? That was a good waste of time and money, which seems to have been firgotten in the wake of the large puddle and the large hole (Westfield...not Odsal)

It wouldn't even cover the artist's impressions.

Absolutely.

SO I'll then be back for the second bite, greater in value by an order of magnitude. Got to pay off the balance on the corporate Caribbean island somehow, and need to keep up with the bankers after all...

And I just proposed a £10m marketing campaign to promote "Bradford...the City with a Hole..." and for a specially-reduced £2m fee for all the months I told them I spent testing out all the alternatives on focus groups and the like (I actually bounced it off my Mum, the Postie and the cat).

Well, Polo got away with that one for years - advertising the bit which consisted of nothing but fresh air, so why not? Can I apply for the job of project director? Gizza job, I can do that...

Don't be too hard on Bradford Council and before you ask I've no axe to grind on their behalf in fact all I see them doing is drop large B*******s in all they touch. In Doncaster we have a new stadium which the council have had to hand over to Doncaster Rovers to avoid any further drain on Doncaster ratepayers.

It was worth a bid.
Liverpool got it so the bar wasn't that high