My deaf mates wife was fuming.. She's just found out he's been having an affair with another deaf woman... I'm surprised she didn't see the signs !!

You know, I contribued to this thread but I am disappointed it was not about our board and our recruitment.

rlnot quite a joke, but still funnyrl

How do you make a cat go woof?


..Poor petrol on it and set it alight

2 muffins sat in the oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Bloody hell! It's hot in here". The other muffin says "ARGH! A talking muffin!"

I just fainted at the local curry house why did nobody tell me R.E.M had split up? That's me in the korma...

Remember..

If you are in bed with a blind girl and she says "I've never had a member as big as yours", She's more than likely pulling your leg.

Two men were walking down the street and they seen a blind dog shagging a cabbage, one of the men said, "the poor bugger must of thought it was a collie

paddy the electrician got sacked from the prison service 4 refusing 2 repair the electric chair.he said that in his opinion it was a flipping death trap

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

Two cows in a field the first cow says 'moo' second cow says 'baa' first cow says 'what was that?' cow reply's i'm learning a foreign language!'

I saw this guy wearing a T-shirt which read "50 today!"

"He's showing his age" I thought

Chelsea are already planning to appeal against Fernando Torres sending off for a two footed tackle.

Everyone knows he hasn't got a left foot.

I started dating a dwarf with brittle bone disease. She's a little smasher.

I said to my wife, "We need some sort of fence to protect our beloved goat" She said, "Wire fence?" I said "For protection..."

As the sperm swam toward the egg, I thought to myself, "I've really ruined this full English breakfast."

Some guy poured milk all over me earlier. How dairy..

People are always asking me if I can do a negative tortoise impression. I'm going to stick my neck out and say no.

I spent 3 hours last Sunday at the mother in law’s graveside.

Silly bugger thinks I'm digging a fish pond.