I was on a rhinos coach to the Stoop once . I had Been out for a few jars and a curry the previous night . I slept most of the way down to London on the coach , so missed the service break .
Now you know that feeling that you get when you wake up and you just know that it isn't the turtles head that is touching cloth , but it is going to result in your undercrackers looking like a horse has just sneezed spag bol into them . Well that was the feeling I had ... Only worse , and the coach had no toilet .
Anyways .. The coach stopped in traffic , I got off it (fortunately we were in London by this time ,but I really wouldn't have cared if it had been on the M1 , I had to get off ) and kind of crab-walked/minced into the nearest pub .
I found the toilets , and after what seemed like an eternity managed to get myself pointing in the general direction of the pot .
AAaaaaahhhh... The relief .

I barely hit the pot .

Looking back now I really feel sorry for whoever had to clean that mess up . It looked like the cistern and surrounding area had been pebbledashed with watery peanut butter , and it didn't smell too nice .

On the subject of toilets on away trips . Does anyone know which pub it is near a ground that has vegetation growing in through the airbricks in the toilet walls ? I have been it it a couple of times . Can't for the life of me think where it is though .

i once got an attack of severe diarrhea whilst stood in the south stand for a bulls game. i raced to the loo and just made it. what a mess. i reached for the paper and none. bollox.
had to use my boxers and left them behind the cistern for the poor cleaner to find next day

Slightly off-topic . A mate showed me a video clip of some random young lady doing the 'ice-bucket challenge' thing today .
The young lady sat on a chair , and had a milk-churn full of icey water tipped over her . .
If I can find the video footage I will post a link .

Having made the same journey I can picture this very vividly in my mind Actually, I realised by the end of my trip to Japan that the toilets there certainly are built to withstand an onslaught from a Yorkshireman. I lost count of the amount of times I 'broke' the khazi there.

Share your poo stories.....

Classic Southstander

jesus

On a related theme, I was on a works night out, about 20 years ago, and we'd had a meal at Biotro Fiore, which used to be opposite WH Smiths. We finished with chocolate fudge cake. The night continued, firstly in the pub, then at the nightclub 'Madison's'. We were classy, like. Anyway, after dancing a bit too hard, I had to rush to the toliet cubicle and I threw up everywhere. On the walls, all over the bowl, on the floor, everywhere. For the most part, it was the rements of the chocolate fudge cake. I wanted to leave a sign for the poor cleaner explaining it wasn't poo. Instead I got the hell out of there.

This thread is just .

This is a fantastic tale

I always said there were people on here who liked to talk excrement

Southstander Gold.

Can whoever dishes out the end of season awards please bookmark DHM's moving voyage of self discovery and cultural exchange now, to save time later.

I love you Southstander. Don't ever change.