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BLACK AND WHITES East is East,West is West, and never the twain shall meet. -------------------------------- "I" said the sparrow "With my bow and arrow.":33934.gif



One of mine is Ken Dodd.
"What a day for shoving a cucumber through a letterbox and shout eh up missus, the Martians have landed!"

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The older I get, the better I was Advice is what we seek when we already know the answer - but wish we didn't I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full-frontal lobotomy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ kirkstaller wrote: "All DNA shows is that we have a common creator." cod'ead wrote: "I have just snotted weissbier all over my keyboard & screen" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "No amount of cajolery, and no attempts at ethical or social seduction, can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin." - Aneurin Bevan:2051.jpg



Quote: barton baird "One of mine is Ken Dodd.
"What a day for shoving a cucumber through a letterbox and shout eh up missus, the Martians have landed!"'"


Mine's also from Doddy, at a time when he was just a radio comedian.

"On the head, women have more hair than men
On the chest, men have more hair than women
But on the (w)hole, women have the most hair"

That resulted in him being banned from the BBC for months.

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. Thank God I'm an atheist.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_22214.jpg



Bob Monkhouse

When I told people that I wanted to become a comedian, they just laughed.


Well they're not laughing now!

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Ken Goodwin on The Comedians...

Bloke goes into a hardware shop & says "I want a bag of nails" and the shopkeeper says "How long do you want them", bloke says "I want to keep them",

settle down now...

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Quote: Stand-Offish "Bob Monkhouse

When I told people that I wanted to become a comedian, they just laughed.


Well they're not laughing now!'"


That's the first thing that popped into my head, too, and if actually caught me a bit by surprise. A well-crafted gag.

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. Thank God I'm an atheist.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_22214.jpg



Quote: carl_spackler "That's the first thing that popped into my head, too, and if actually caught me a bit by surprise. A well-crafted gag.'"

Indeed, if a gag stays in the mind like that one has in ours, it's special.

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double post amended

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Quote: Stand-Offish "Indeed, if a gag stays in the mind like that one has in ours, it's special.'"


I never really liked Monkhouse for a while (in which I'm pretty sure I'm far from alone, he seemed to put off as many as he entertained), but the more I saw the more I realised how good he was. I actually tend to prefer comedians of the funny stories/observational/rambling sort rather than gag-men, but he was/is an exception for me; you really do have to admire the skill it takes to do it that well.

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The older I get, the better I was Advice is what we seek when we already know the answer - but wish we didn't I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full-frontal lobotomy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ kirkstaller wrote: "All DNA shows is that we have a common creator." cod'ead wrote: "I have just snotted weissbier all over my keyboard & screen" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "No amount of cajolery, and no attempts at ethical or social seduction, can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin." - Aneurin Bevan:2051.jpg



Quote: carl_spackler "I never really liked Monkhouse for a while (in which I'm pretty sure I'm far from alone, he seemed to put off as many as he entertained), but the more I saw the more I realised how good he was. I actually tend to prefer comedians of the funny stories/observational/rambling sort rather than gag-men, but he was/is an exception for me; you really do have to admire the skill it takes to do it that well.'"


The "old pro" comedians or comics as they preferred to be known, were masters at the craft of identifying their audience and modifying their act to suit. Monkhouse not only had a vast collection of gags, he also had an incredible memory, this enabled his ability to quickly change to his surroundings, like a chameleon.

During the early 70s I worked at Centre Bar in Hull and the hotel was contracted to provide the accommodation for the local Bailey's nightclub. I consider myself fortunate to have met most of the top comics of that era, the vast majority of whom were down to earth and naturally funny people.

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Quote: cod'ead "The "old pro" comedians or comics as they preferred to be known, were masters at the craft of identifying their audience and modifying their act to suit. Monkhouse not only had a vast collection of gags, he also had an incredible memory, this enabled his ability to quickly change to his surroundings, like a chameleon.

During the early 70s I worked at Centre Bar in Hull and the hotel was contracted to provide the accommodation for the local Bailey's nightclub. I consider myself fortunate to have met most of the top comics of that era, the vast majority of whom were down to earth and naturally funny people.'"


...the second division of which was the working mens club circuit on which a semi-professional (ie "I've got a day job) performer could earn a nice little top-up to the weekly wage with a couple of bookings every weekend and with the sheer number of clubs in any given district could play a different club every weekend and not repeat a booking for at least a year, by which time it was time to book them all again, often with the same act.

My dad loved his working mens clubs, was an amatuer comedian/singer himself and never needed asking twice to get up on stage, Saturday and Sunday evenings in our house when I was a kid were spent with him browsing "The Club Book", a monthly booklet for the district in which every club listed their "turns" for that month, he'd pick from several dozen clubs in the Leeds district book to see a desired act, for free - for free, I emphasise that bit because with his CIU membership (a couple of quid a year) he could get into any of the clubs, free, to watch an act, for free - try doing that now icon_biggrin.gif

He also served his time as a concert secretary and so knew many of the comedians (his chosen forte) on the circuit at that time, the best of whom were every bit as good as any comedian playing the arenas today (and becoming millionaires in the process) that you care to name, to pick just two Paul Shane (of Hi-de-hi fame) and Bobby Knut (no spelling mistake intended) both from Rotherham, both well crafted stand-up comedians, both toured West and South Yorkshire WMC's for years and years doing basically the same act on a twelve month rotation, both knew exactly how to play their audiences because they'd learned the hard way decades ago by standing in front of a rowdy audience with crap jokes and being either boo'ed off or paid off, Paul Shane may have been a crap actor on TV (and he admitted the same) but he was by far the best stand-up on the circuit for many years.

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PS - has anyone ever stood in front of a paying audience (ie not your mates) and tried five minutes of stand-up comedy ?

I have, one of the worst experiences of my life icon_biggrin.gif

When you start with your best joke and no-one laughs then you know you're in trouble with 4mins 30 seconds of hell to follow icon_lol.gif

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Freedom without Socialism is privilege and injustice. Socialism without freedom is slavery and brutality.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_1136.jpg



Bob Monkhouse again ...

When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandad did.

Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

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The older I get, the better I was Advice is what we seek when we already know the answer - but wish we didn't I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full-frontal lobotomy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ kirkstaller wrote: "All DNA shows is that we have a common creator." cod'ead wrote: "I have just snotted weissbier all over my keyboard & screen" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "No amount of cajolery, and no attempts at ethical or social seduction, can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin." - Aneurin Bevan:2051.jpg



Quote: JerryChicken "PS - has anyone ever stood in front of a paying audience (ie not your mates) and tried five minutes of stand-up comedy ?

I have, one of the worst experiences of my life
Les Dawson was originally a club pianist and singer. It was during a gig at a Hessle Road fishermen's club that he developed his comedy routine. He was plying his trade one Saturday night to a room full of Three-day Kings (trawlermen) and their wives and getting so much stick that he stopped playing, turned on his stool and told the assembled crowd exactly what he thought of them. They roared with laughter, demanded more and the rest, as they say, is history

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:



Favourite opening line from a comedy sketch....

"Four Candles...."

Even my 10 year old son and 8 year old daughter love it, and have the clip on ipods icon_smile.gif

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"You are working for Satan." [i:2886spie]Kirkstaller[/i:2886spie] "Dare to know!" [i:2886spie]Immanuel Kant[/i:2886spie] "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive" [i:2886spie]Elbert Hubbard[/i:2886spie] "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." [i:2886spie]Oscar Wilde[/i:2886spie] [url=http://thevoluptuousmanifesto.blogspot.co.uk:2886spie][color=#4000FF:2886spie]The Voluptuous Manifesto[/color:2886spie][/url:2886spie] – thoughts on all sorts of stuff.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_1977.jpg



Quote: JerryChicken "PS - has anyone ever stood in front of a paying audience (ie not your mates) and tried five minutes of stand-up comedy ?'"


Yup. icon_biggrin.gif

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This is an inplay table and live positions can change.
Mens Betfred Super League XXVIII ROUND : 1
 PLDFADIFFPTS
Wigan 29 768 338 430 48
Hull KR 29 731 344 387 44
Warrington 29 769 351 418 42
Leigh 29 580 442 138 33
Salford 28 556 561 -5 32
St.Helens 28 618 411 207 30
 
Catalans 27 475 427 48 30
Leeds 27 530 488 42 28
Huddersfield 27 468 658 -190 20
Castleford 27 425 735 -310 15
Hull FC 27 328 894 -566 6
LondonB 27 317 916 -599 6
This is an inplay table and live positions can change.
Betfred Championship 2024 ROUND : 1
 PLDFADIFFPTS
Wakefield 27 1032 275 757 52
Toulouse 26 765 388 377 37
Bradford 28 723 420 303 36
York 29 695 501 194 32
Widnes 27 561 502 59 29
Featherstone 27 634 525 109 28
 
Sheffield 26 626 526 100 28
Doncaster 26 498 619 -121 25
Halifax 26 509 650 -141 22
Batley 26 422 591 -169 22
Swinton 28 484 676 -192 20
Barrow 25 442 720 -278 19
Whitehaven 25 437 826 -389 18
Dewsbury 27 348 879 -531 4
Hunslet 1 6 10 -4 0
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