Joke from Bill Bailey's latest tour..

Mnemonics.... I can never remember how to spell that

He could afford to be, he didn't pay tax, unless of course the communists came and nicked it from him as he feared.

I wasn't actually meaning financially generous.

Good one.



What? You were being serious? Er, well let me just gently point out that he IS bloody funny, as another 15 years of continuing sellout audiences testify.

It's just you.

He is the self-proclaimed "International Playboy and failed Accountant"

One of the funniest men I've ever seen was Les Dawson.

I couldn't tell you what I think is his funniest joke, but here's a couple:

"I’ve got a friend who's a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher, until he lost his nerve."

"The people next door are awful. At three o’clock this morning they were banging on the walls and screaming. Good job I wasn’t trying to sleep — I was playing my drums at the time."

"My wife sent her photograph to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back, said they weren’t that lonely."

"The mother-in-law is so ugly, when she goes on holiday, the mosquitoes draw lots to see who is going to bite her"

That one is a classic, and terribly sexist too




And now I thought I'd be clever and Google some old Les Dawson jokes, but I found this instead...

There was an old farmer from Greece
Who did terrible things to his geese
But he went too far with a budgerigar
And the parrot phoned the police

Another one was, "I always knew when the mother in law was coming round, the mice threw themselves on the traps."

Oh, thank you. I've nearly snorted Aussie Red over my keyboard (quality).

Doddy for me, every time.
No one particular joke stood out for me (I've seen him twice), just the RELENTLESS stream of fantastic gags.

The world will be a sadder place when Doddy goes "upstairs". The word genius is overused, these days. On Doddy, it doesn't do him duty.

Not stand up but...

Basil Fawlty: Manuel put it on those trays.
Manuel: No no Mr Fawlty. Unos, dos, tres.


or

Father Ted: Right, one more time. These are small, but the ones out there are far away.... Small.... Far away.


As for Spike Milligan, his imagination and creativity in comedy was ahead of his time. Listen to old Goons recordings. Not everyone's cup of tea. A lot of funny people have credited him as being their inspiration. Then again if you watch the programme Curry & Chips you can see how he fell out of the mainstream

There is a very good biography written about him by his personal assistant of 30-odd (probably very odd) years, "Memories of Milligan" by Norma Farnes gives a lot of insight into his personal life and personal turmoil with life-long depression which he always attributed to his experiences as a gunner in Italy during WW2, his own written memoirs of that time tend to gloss over the real issues he had and try to put a funny spin on it.

A quote from her ...



His contemporaries, the comedians and other script writers that he worked with speak of his generosity too, for instance he'd bought a house in central London just to work in and write by himself but after setting up his own and Norma Farnes' office he was left with several upstairs rooms and so would let aspiring writers use them cheaply or for free as long as they didn't disturb him downstairs, the comedy writers Galton and Simpson and also Eric Sykes became long term residents there.

A line from him as a review of a not-very-good comedian that he'd seen : "He left an indelible blank on my mind,"