Ok boys here it is. THIS is the guy who has been saying we are all no good bums and he is going to smash us! This is the face to the name. His name is Mike Wharton and he will be prop on Saturday if he doesn’t chicken out. For a visual reference see this youtube freeze frame of his 'threatening face'. I use this term VERY lightly.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=su7jetXHucQ

Key Facts on Dipper AKA Sad Sack

1. He has week ribs. Attack them hard.

2. He has a below average pain threshold. I saw him actually cry 2 years ago when he slipped into a hedge in Edinburgh. FACT

3. He has a big mouth. Sometimes referred to as 'The Machine' don't be worried as this has just been shortened my teammates as 'The Penalty Machine' is a bit of a mouthful. Pinch him on the ground and watch the penalties come flooding out of his mouth.

4. He is a back trapped in a forwards body. This is evident by his attempted 'side steps' which are now slower than the cantilever swing bridge in Stockton Heath. FACT2

5. His nickname in school and still to this day (To the Newton lads he probably has hid this well but you should definitely use it) is SAD SACK. This is as Mike, right up to the age of 15, would insist on bringing his Sad Sack doll everywhere he went. Sad Sack was Mikes favourite Raggy Doll and the Raggy Dolls was Mikes favourite TV Show. The doll was like his security blanket and he was often found cuddling it in quiet corners. Sad Sack was the oldest doll in the reject bin and I guess Mike could really relate to this. FACT3

So take a good look at Sad Sack and make sure he knows he has been in a game!

Ok boys here it is. THIS is the guy who has been saying we are all no good bums and he is going to smash us! This is the face to the name. His name is Mike Wharton and he will be prop on Saturday if he doesn’t chicken out. For a visual reference see this youtube freeze frame of his 'threatening face'. I use this term VERY lightly.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=su7jetXHucQ

Key Facts on Dipper AKA Sad Sack

1. He has week ribs. Attack them hard.

2. He has a below average pain threshold. I saw him actually cry 2 years ago when he slipped into a hedge in Edinburgh. FACT

3. He has a big mouth. Sometimes referred to as 'The Machine' don't be worried as this has just been shortened my teammates as 'The Penalty Machine' is a bit of a mouthful. Pinch him on the ground and watch the penalties come flooding out of his mouth.

4. He is a back trapped in a forwards body. This is evident by his attempted 'side steps' which are now slower than the cantilever swing bridge in Stockton Heath. FACT2

5. His nickname in school and still to this day (To the Newton lads he probably has hid this well but you should definitely use it) is SAD SACK. This is as Mike, right up to the age of 15, would insist on bringing his Sad Sack doll everywhere he went. Sad Sack was Mikes favourite Raggy Doll and the Raggy Dolls was Mikes favourite TV Show. The doll was like his security blanket and he was often found cuddling it in quiet corners. Sad Sack was the oldest doll in the reject bin and I guess Mike could really relate to this. FACT3

So take a good look at Sad Sack and make sure he knows he has been in a game!

And here is the proof as if my word is not enough. A picture from Saturday of what is clearly Sad Sack with what is clearly a bottle of Budweiser. If you can't trust your senior players to tell the truth about their drinking dependencies then can you trust him on the pitch?.......hmmmm

www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6ch_dSJGhs

And here is the proof as if my word is not enough. A picture from Saturday of what is clearly Sad Sack with what is clearly a bottle of Budweiser. If you can't trust your senior players to tell the truth about their drinking dependencies then can you trust him on the pitch?.......hmmmm

www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6ch_dSJGhs