I get like that if I eat corn on the cob...I love the stuff but have to avoid it unless I am staying in the next day!

No buffet I'm afraid, we had it at a soft play place so it was hot food. All the kids dressed as either Pirates or Princesses they looked really cute.
I'm sat watching the birthday boy play with an empty box rather then the present that came in it! Still as long as he's happy eh.
He was rather pleased with his big toes this morning, he swears they are bigger today now he is 4 then yesterday when he was only 3.

I've been to soft play once with my friends little girl\monster, absolutely stank of wee.
Great place to pick up milf's, if one is so inclined.

Kids parties at those hideous Wacky Warehouse places are the single worst aspect of having children. Not the screaming kids, or the fragrance combo of wee, sweaty feet and chip fat, no, that's the best of it. Even the machine "cappuccinos" are relatively appealing. The worst of it is the other mums. Your only currency with these halfwits is how many activities your kid participates in. The worst ones are those who arrive at swimming lessons with a daughter in ballet outfit having come straight from class and afterwards get changed into jodphurs for a riding lesson. Sod off. I purposely used to buy the weightiest Saturday or Sunday paper available and focus on avoiding conversation.

On the flip side, i would imagine that the other mums tried to sneak in quietly and take a seat out of eye-shot before the maths woman looked up from her paper.

Absolutely. A mutually beneficial arrangement, I'm sure

Thank God! I thought it was just me.

Unless there is a bar I refuse to attend. You're treated as a leper if you have a glass of red in front of you. That and a broadsheet usually does the trick.

I find it's best just not to procreate.

I must admit I like your style, I adopted a similiar one.

Big American car show at Fort Paull today, just seen the big Yanky Police Car go by, didn't turn into a decepticon so not sure if Bumblebee will be there, get yourself down, weathers nice.

Tea and cake in the Church, 2-4pm, £1.50.

Just saw a bottle of Bison vodka in duty free for "8", thoughut, fantastic, that's
about a quid! Then realised it was Euros, not Kunas.

Too much Black Sumbuca last night for me has resulted in a head that feels like its been used as a ball in a sunday pub team football match

Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens...

What are your favourite things? You can't put family or rugby league* things, as they would be off off topic.

Treacle sponge and custard
Cuddling a baby when they're just out the bath and their hair smells of Johnsons baby shampoo
My Christmas tree
Meet Me in St Louis
Hypnose by Lancome
Keukenhof tulip gardens
A hot bubble bath on a cold winters night
A bead of condensation running down a bottle of cold Budweiser on a hot day
Steaming espresso coffee in perfectly warmed semi-skimmed milk, in the right proportions
David Shillington*
SheiKra
Orchids
Top Trumps
Pride and Prejudice (the Colin Firth version)
Battered but comfy slippers after a day in high heels

*not for his rugby league abilities

Riding a superbike,
coffee,
nice shower after coming in from work,
weekends off,
good movies,
texas hold `em poker,
nice people,
bangers and mash.