Whilst I still haven't managed to buy the bloody tickets yet, I have now started to tremble at the thought of trying to sort out Hull KR tv. On the plus side I have just spent the last five minutes giggling at the responses even though the other half is rolling her eyes and tutting.

A miracle has occurred.

Mike emailed me to see if I could procur him a few contraband ribbons for his Remington from my Cuban connection and we duly swopped illicit goods for a shirt at Ferry Bridge.

I tried to 're subscribe tonight and have just stopped crying.
Apparently I have a PayPal account generated when I paid last year. After trying my usual passwords I was locked out. The code they sent by email didn't work. Then apparently I didn't know my mother's maiden name or my father's first name. Quickly I called them to find they had both disowned me and surprisingly my father had changed his name to Princess Starshine the fourth.
By this point PayPal had me on the EUs most wanted list and I am banned from all electronic transactions globally.
This and continually having to fill out the electronic form with nonsensical information then sold to marketing companies or fraudsters has led me to book in with Dignitas Orchard Park......f#ck you Mike...

You're doing it wrong.

The only way to negotiate the "Shitperstore", is to be very, very drunk.

Once drunk, I managed to purchase a shirt that I don't really want and couldn't get a silly phrase or name put on the back of it.

Dignitas Orchard Park have given me 20 quids worth of smack some wobbly eggs and 3 litres of white lightening for £1000.
I'm necking it all and going back on.....this is on your head goose.