We have just created space within the slaphead cap for Tilse, who looks a bit follically challenged to me. We also have room for another ginger now that Carlile has gone, so Goose will be ecstatic.

And there, Sandra, you have summarised one of our main underlying problems. It's not just Houghton.

Even if he had hair it wouldn't be ginger, which would also have to go against him.

I'm off the gingers, I belatedly realised they are evil and should be put to the ducking stool test.

We have a severe lack of good hair players though, can't think of one and McCarthy's beard annoys me to my marrow.

I haven't seen any good hair prospects in the nineteens.

We're potentially on our knees.

Ha ha, Priceless!
Why doesn't the water carrier sneak up to McCarthy with a hidden pair of scissors and give his beard a quick snip when he's taking a glug?
Mind you Charnleys hairstyle catalogue leaves a bit to be desired and Joe Philbins barnet at Warrington is tailor made to add a parrot to complete the look.