I hate the holiday gift thing. One lady always brings back shell/bead bracelets, awful things.
I'm always getting emails at work asking for donations for leaving presents for some person I've never even met before.
Or one's that tell me Karen from Purchase accounts is leaving to have a baby, blah de blah. I've never even seen Karen.
However, as its my last day in the office tomorrow I am fully expecting a huge send off.

Best to leave it for a couple of weeks - might still be a bit raw after the op

Lots of shouting going on. Mr Deputy Speaker is sorting them out.

Ah.

Gift or present.

One of [ithose[/i ones. The pudding or dessert. The greens or vegetables.

Depends if the vacation was in France. I like to bring toilet rolls back.

And stack 'em on the laminated floor of your 'little boy's room?'

its the main reason i work for myself to avoid collections when it did used to happen i used to deny knowledge of the person

I have a pound coin attached to an elastic wrist strap that I use in a Top Cat stylee for these unpleasant events.

Also why the hell should you have to bring Cakes into the office for everyone when it's your birthday? I take the time off to avoid it.

Those weird little things that we're programmed to fit to the side of our toilets?

Toilet duck.

Domestos away.

Parazone exterminator.

Why do we do that?

For about ten years I've been buying those things, irrespective of that, I still clean my toilet, I don't want people coming around to my Secret Hill Top Lair (not that they can get past the portcullis) and seeing an awful bottom stripe, hell, I'll sort that out.

The dangling chemical pouch does not sort that shizzle out.

They cost two sheets them bad boys, bought some Sally Sainsbury's one's, point nine of a queen.

These mo-fo's contain depleted uranium.

Consumer watch, don't buy this stuff.

Believe, I grew up on The Holderness Plain in the nineteen seventies, you want end up like me?

No.

Don't make the kids breathe the chemicals I had to.

Ooh! Do you mean Wisey's, Sandra?

Our friends had a huge lumbering mongrel called Dudley. A wonderful dog who used to drink the blue water out of the bog. We called him Toilet Dud. Much as it pained me to use the T word. The fact that the word 'toilet' is used as part of the brand tells you exactly the sort of people those products are pitched for.

Toiletmy.