Worked it out.

I'll be dead.

Well, maybe pretend to be dead..

Eek, they're (plural innit grammar Police) coming up the stairs...

Feint imminent.

The only thing that works is coming downstairs in your pyjamas ,winding an alarm clock up.

Bally hell, you're as pickled as a mongoose. Still, it's a state Roverswall can only dream of, in his matchstick propping misery.

Time to close this particular delight.