bl00dy hell , a rugby match in colditz, can i take my ventolin inhaler , or will they remove it as i might possibly conceivably in all probability attach an air horn to it.

my favourite one is about need a fire certificate for a flag

On the bright side it should be a drum free zone

Made me smile too.

I'm also amused by the idea that if a match ball lands anywhere near you at any point, strictly speaking you can't throw it back towards the playing area as 'The throwing of any object or objects within the grounds is strictly forbidden'.

I think this aimed at us and Seagulls who are not used to playing in a stadium of the calibre of Halliwell Jones.

Can cr*p and offensive reffing also be banned? As that is the biggest threat to ruining any game.

It's a pity the security wasn't so tight in the car park when some poor soul from Halifax was half kicked to death by some lowlife from Fev the other year. Nothing happened and it was all forgotten about. I can't imagine how no one saw it happen.

At a lot of the televised games I have watched there is a lot of people dressed as an empty seat.

your seeing them just after the crowd have been ejected for looking like they may be alive

Are sponge fingers allowed, both the Mr Kipling and foam hand variety??? Maybe this will confuse the RFL who may need to put up notices at both the food bar concession units and merchandise stands to state their intentions on the matter.

Also, what if fans are under the influence of a hypnotist????

A mexican wave will not be tollerated and will be deemed as major crowd control trouble.

Any mexicans will therefore be tied to all seating prior to kick off.

All men must urinate whilst sat down to minimize the risk of spray

Could be a new tradition here though, we've had cakes to Rochdale and suits for last game, how about sharpest implament at warrington