Two nun’s cycling to the Vatican, one says

“follow me, I know a shortcut!”

5 minutes later the other Nun says

“I’ve never come this way before…”

The other nun replies “Yeah, I know…it’s the cobbled streets that do it”





What’s the difference between a prostitute in the bath and a nun?

The Nun has hope in her soul…





What’s the difference between Fanny Craddock and Cross Country running?

One’s a pant in the country…

david mills

Cheers roofs but i would'nt have been able to make it on the 30th, but checking their myspace site it is on the 31st.......having said that i have a wide and varied taste in music but listening to a couple of samples of their music i think it would be stretching it a far for me and certainly the wife would'nt be pleased, again cheers anyway.



A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

What Jewelry would that be? A pearl necklace?

very funny

No worries mate.

Good joke by the way.

Hello? Thorman?!

not as funny as mine
i see you couldn't name a hull fc player

Apparantley Stephen Gaitley was on a bender when he died

STEPHEN GATELY

I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.

I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the
counter, and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered,
'No, this is my first time.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
'Do these excite you?' She asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown.
'Did you put that condom on?' she asked.

I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.