Why would she want to go out with a retard in the first place

How about tell her to f**k off?

Coming from someone with a fish with a retarded fin smaller than the other.

I think you're all missing the obvious opportunity here. Mr B was a red and white once. It's like a double benefit if you can work your magic and bring them over to our side - one less red and white, one more black and white. Our children are FC passholders also, it's like 4 for the price of one.

go.....and stand in the cas end

Okay I'll give you a proper answer.
If it's a serious relationship go for option 3 and tell her though you love her deeply & happy to drive her to the game & back you'd rather not watch the red & white $h!tE given the kicking you'd get from your mates for doing so.
If it's casual and she's fit & you want to keep her (only God would know why though) just tell her not to put you in an awkward position & sorry but I aint going, here's the train fare(or not if she isn't skint)
If she's a bit of a munter just say sorry but no can do, ask me again & yer dumped.

Excellent Work

sooner stick pins in my eyes

Any other suggestions.>>>>Start the patio now!<<<<<<

Excellent comedy, particularly the first one

I would take here to the game, tell her I will wait in the pub but insted of going to the pub I would go home.

Or is that just mean? Nah shes a dobbins fan.

You could just top yourself if worse comes to worse!