It's all about experience
You've got to be cheetah-like.
Scan the central savannah of empty West-stand padded seats bang on kick off time from W6 tunnel.
Confident nod at steward, head down, and aggressively accelerate with lethal force to your (self) appointed prey (seat).



Usually end up nearly sitting on AP's lap.

Well I never Wizeb you are the last person I would have had down as a west stand padded seat merchant.
More of a spit and sawdust east stand balls to you all kind of guy.
Unless you are taking the pish of course.

I aren't selling out Platey!!!
I am a plebeian but sometimes you have to study and educate yourself in the ways of the, 'keeping up with the Joneses.'
Especially if you want to beat them.

Thank goodness for that, I shall rest easy for the rest of the day in my smoking jacket,whilst sipping port in the blue room of my manor house.
Throw another east stander on the fire would you jeeves.

That explains why there are loads of prawn shells near my seat after half time.

Oh they move when I tell them.

It's not about getting a better deal its about being an ignorant sod and sitting in my seat.

Does it have 'Reserved for Robbo4' written on it?

And here we are try to attract new supporters to the club.

no funnily enough it has the seat number corresponding to my season pass. Not exactly rocket science is it.

Ah so your plan to attract new fans is to buy reserved seats and let random people sit in them on the off chance they are "new". Genius.

So you're more than happy with "Oh they move when I tell them", and if it's their first time at the ground, even better.

Did you somehow get the impression that means I threaten them? Like I said, genius.