Albert Kelly

Quote: Mild Rover "As moxi1 has broken the seal, i’ll have a ponder. It’s definitely going to be ponderous at least.

I don’t understand why you’d all try to troll us with Albert Kelly. Well, I do - you’ve not listened to enough Simon and Garfunkel.

Before we get to that, obviously you can celebrate who you want, but the rather desperate use of ‘got him on a free’ (as has every club that has signed him following his departure under a cloud from his previous employer), flags it as troll - intentionally, I know. It’s like waving a grey rag at a bullfrog, but you’re undeniably trying.

The key thing to remember is that i’d rather be a sparrow than a snail. No, not that one. A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. Or a woman, indeed.

It’s been thin pickings for us, but Albert Kelly gave Rovers fans one of probably the top 10 rugby-related moments of the last couple of years. IMO. As I say, it has been thin pickings. He didn’t do it by himself; it needed others to start sentences with ‘I don’t condone it but...’ before they got their moral bearings, or hilariously fail to report it at all. But he did his bit, bless him.

So, given that you can forget or ignore that, why would you think it would be difficult to for us to forget... who were we talking about?

Michael Shenton, that’s right. No matter how many international caps he won or big games he played in, to me he’s just an unfortunate footnote to John Boudebza’s career. Similarly, Kelly is just the drunken abusive oaf who made a few people perform amusing ethical gymnastics on t’internet. And helped us prep for the almost inevitable arrival of our own drunken abusive oaf shortly afterwards. I was more disappointed with the distracting speculation about drugs (‘no, no - focus on the irrefutable misogyny!’) than his performances on the rugby pitch. Those I’ll disregard with bovine equanimity.

Would you like me to suggest a red rag?

Finally, talk about tempting fate! If a video emerges in the coming months of... i’ll let you use your imaginations... you’ll only have yourselves to blame, imo. Can you imagine the HDM headline for its lead story that day?! ORCHARD PARK TEEN ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWS CHEWING GUM.'"