MacGyver or Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith then we would have some kind of plan on matchday

With him around we would never lose a game on TV.

Abu Hamza for me, he'd only need to tackle you once...

At Hooker I take it?

You've got to hand it to him.

I hear he likes the biff; got a mean right hook.

etc etc ad infinitum.

Chuck Norris

Very good, very good...

Baldrick from Blackadder - he`d come up with a cunning plan.

I thank you; not too much effort required though - he's the comedy gift that keeps on giving!

Indeed one of the all time great comedy characters!

WagBo from Harry Hill's TV Burb at Hooker

props --dolly parton and jordan would be good for us in tough games and massive upfront

clare baldin just to see her hammered by anyone

goal kicker --that guy who used to kick bare foot in NFL just to see him wince in the cold weather

ant and dec at scrum and stand off jus tbecause they would pull the crowds in and my kids love

coach --victor meldrew his half time talks would be TV worthy

forrest gump, catch him if you can and he will run for days

David Cameron on the wing, a slippery character, capable of making a quick dash when he has people in pursuit.
Just tell him one of his banker friends needs a couple of quid down the other end of the ground and he'd be off like a flash.

Although judging by his schooling I bet he is unaware of the 13 man game us plebs play barefoot up north!

(Come through on NM and I may consider backing the coalition I was swept along with David!-Yes I know I wasted my vote, no need to rub it in anymore people!)

If you mean rich karlis the goalkicker for the Denver Broncos, a mild winter like this wouldn't bother him, the Broncos Mile High Stadium is known to get a bit parky this time of year also!!!

we could embarrass ourselfs with some like dwain chambers