What's taking Joseph 'Fritzl' Barton so long with his online presser?

It's a good job Sky got the news direct off Newcastle. He's probably not used to typing realeased!

How much is he apparently on?

The Newcastle keyboard warriors reckon it's £67,000!

Too much for Kenwright and his mates, you reckon Kenny might be interested?

It's not the wages that Everton stumbled on. We couldn't even raise the transfer fee

Hope not. Last thing we need is another midfielder, let alone a lunatic like Barton.

Newcastle offloading their best players for free.

Ashley, what a tit.

Liverpool fielding a decent team tonight against Valarenga... hammered all day in the betting from 8-15 to 2/5.

Currently losing 2-0 after 15 minutes and it could have been 3-0 in all honesty.

Utterly shambolic.

Never a penalty though, awful decision....I'm enjoying it so far I must say

nice to see liverpools pre season going so well , surely this is their year this time around

Not looking forward to this coming season.

There's still time left in the window, but watching us in pre-season and seeing our signings, I can't fathom the 'plan'. We haven't played well at all during pre-season, Aquilani aside we've looked mediocre on the ball and our style play doesn't have much of an aim.

Of course, it's only pre-season and fitness comes first, but fitness isn't just how long you can run and fitness isn't the only priority. Players need to be gelling; tactics performed in training need to be executed; confidence has to be built and individual and team sharpness has to be strong.

I don't want to come across as one of these loons who are completely panning everything, but our pre-season has oozed mediocrity, both in our signings and our performances.

Suarez needs to be told straight up, forgot your break after helping Uruguay win that cup, get your backside back to training and make sure your ready for the opening game of the season, otherwise we will get battered.