Could we all please spare a moment this morning for Tottenham fans. Ever since about 5 o'clock on Saturday, they have been seen and heard to be a seething, dribbling, wobbly mass of anger and injustice, brought on by another football team daring to stop them from being "entertained" by employing "dark arts", and simply refusing to roll over and die in the name of "entertainment".

"Dark arts"? What, so playing for a draw is now classified alongside diving, chasing refs, 2-footed tackles, dodgy transfer dealings and the like? If so, i'll turn my back on my club for having the nerve to perform such a task. They should rot in hell!

So, if you find a Tottenham fan wandering around in such a state, please take him to the nearest asylum/baby change unit/his mum's, and remind him things could be a lot worse. He could support Liverpool.