were you one of the two sounds like it

Ah fair enough. You should have spent the time without a computer trying out for Britain's Got Talent. A geniune talent like yourself would bring much needed credability to that show and the channel it broadcasts on.

ROFL aww sorry did i offend you calling you an inbred i apologise il high 6 ya later

this is better.
A Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a saints fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are saints fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, ' Mary , why didn't you raise your hand?' 'Because I'm not a saints fan,' she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a saints fan, then who are you a fan of?' 'I am a wigan fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. ' Mary , why, are you a wigan fan?' 'Because my mum is a wigan fan, and my dad is a wigan fan, so I'm a wigan fan too!' 'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a wigan fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time.. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?
Mary smiled,
'I'd be a saints fan.
just substitute saints for leigh or leeds or bradford or.....................

Thats the oldest one in the book! yaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwnnnnn

Every now and then some pillock comes on and completely lightens the mood on here as we unite in mocking the poor brainless sod.

Do you even get the feeling people are laughing at someone, as opposed to with them?

Hmmm I'm feeling it now

It's OK, the Queen won't be able to hear them, as she's been told to wrap up warm for the visit.

When she told Prince Philip that she was "orf to Leigh", he replied "Wear the fox hat".

NOFL x 100000000 at that first joke

Its equally as funny this morning.

old but made me giggle !!

A saints fan, a wire fan and a Wigan fan and a were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The saints fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The saints fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The wire fan was next up and after watching the scene, said:" Please fix two pillows on my back, under my shirt" But even two pillows & 1 shirt could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.

The Wigan fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your town has some of the best bars, nightclubs in Europe, your town and rugby team is known throughout the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", The wigan fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.

"Please tie the Wire fan to my back."