Aside from Super League and NRL I only really catch football on Sky and if people think we're hard done by they need to spend 90 minutes listening to the dulcet tones of Alan Smith or the witty intejections of Niall Quinn. These clowns aside there are dozens of humourless, thick ex-pros doing the rounds (Redknapp, Shearer, Thompson etc) and very few bright sparks.

The one thing that strikes me is that Super League have the *voice* right in Eddie Hemmings, not so RP as to alienate the viewer and the panel (Claire Balding is a patronising cow) and not so broad an accent that a first-time viewer could turn on and feel they're watching a northern monkey fest.

That being said, he's rubbish. Jon Wells aside they all get on my tats, although Barrie McD has some cracking moments "He's like a hologram covered in vaseline".

Perhaps we're inventing all this. Someone whose job is to criticise your team will always rub you up the wrong way.

Regardless, other mentions must go to Phil Clarke- the most boring man on television, Terry O'Connor- a moron, Bill Arthur- gives me the creeps, John Kear- I don't mind even though he speaks slower than time itself, Shaun McRae- knocks me sick.