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You don’t know what “TENJOOBERRYMUDS” means do you? You will after reading this icon_wink.gif

I was recently in London and decided to learn Vietnamese, so I could understand the check-outs at McDonalds. My next move is to learn Indian, so I can understand my doctors and the person that answers the phone when I have a warranty problem.

In order to continue getting-by in London we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS". With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.

Now, here goes...The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and room-service somewhere in London .......

Room Service: "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.

"Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???

"Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... Pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I... Don't think so."

Room Service: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

Room Service: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

Room Service: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please.... And that's everything."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ..... Rye ??"

Guest: "Whatever you say.."

Room Service: "Tenjooberrymuds."

Guest: "You're welcome"

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Bloke from Wigan wins the lottery. He decides he want to have a statue of his dog so he goes to the jewellers and asks how much a solid gold statue of a dog would be.

The jeweller asks "Do you want it eighteen carat?"

No I'll just have it chewing a bone.

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Quote: FIOS "Just bought FIFA 12 and I already noticed a glitch, when you play away at Wigan Athletic they have a full stadium.


Very good icon_lol.gif

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I was directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene. Some say I'm the fresh and bold thing theatre needs, others think that I ruined the nativity.



.
Moses was the first person to use Control-C as a shortcut.

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After a visit to the local "house of ill repute", a man notices green lumps on his testicles so off he goes to see the doctor.

"This is serious", says the doctor, "You know how wrestlers get caulflower ears?"

"Yes", admits the man, nodding seriously.

"Well", says the doctor, "You have brothel sprouts".
----------------------------------------------------------------
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

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I was in the toilet on the train the other day
and the conductor knocked on the door
and said can i see
your ticket please i said not right now
i am having s h i t
he said i don't believe you push it under the door
i said OK but the yellow bits are sweetcorn

80 posts in 6 pages 
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Subscribe | Moderators: Admin, DaveO , Wigan6/Leeds1 Andy , Pemps
80 posts in 6 pages 
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Subscribe | Moderators: Admin, DaveO , Wigan6/Leeds1 Andy , Pemps



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