It's OK, the Queen won't be able to hear them, as she's been told to wrap up warm for the visit.

When she told Prince Philip that she was "orf to Leigh", he replied "Wear the fox hat".

NOFL x 100000000 at that first joke

oh yes you ve just made my skin itch

Its equally as funny this morning.

old but made me giggle !!

A saints fan, a wire fan and a Wigan fan and a were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The saints fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The saints fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The wire fan was next up and after watching the scene, said:" Please fix two pillows on my back, under my shirt" But even two pillows & 1 shirt could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.

The Wigan fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your town has some of the best bars, nightclubs in Europe, your town and rugby team is known throughout the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", The wigan fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.

"Please tie the Wire fan to my back."

My favorite-
Two saints fans were walking away from the game in Wigan when they turned to the old bloke walking alongside and one said "I think Wigan is the ar$ehole of the world.The old bloke said "what are you two doing ,just passing through".

Wigan Warriors are now being investigated along with MP's by the inland revenue... Apparently they have been claiming for silver polish since 2002.

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Good lord some of these jokes have given my eyes cat aids.

The original is a pearler though!