So to this week’s posers. Maybe we’ll have a full set of fixtures this time around but Bongser iterates; even if you hear of a postponement, predict anyway. You’ll be burying an acorn that may well become a great oak further down the line. Fasten your seatbelts:

Dewsbury XX-XX Toulouse
Featherstone XX-XX Swinton
Halifax XX-XX Leythe
London XX-XX Batley
Rochdale XX-XX Barrow
Sheffield XX-XX T’ronno

Bonus: How many kicks’ll go o’er t’sticks (both teams and conversions, penalties & drop goals all contribute) in t’Fax v Leigh match. 5 points for that.

As Bongser is unable to predict against the Cherry & Whites upon religious grounds, it is becoming even more important that they start putting a string of victories together. C’mon boys, if you won’t do it for KP, do it for B&B

Dewsbury 10-32 Toulouse
Featherstone 48-14 Swinton
Halifax 32-23 Leythe
London 56-18 Batley
Rochdale 8-19 Barrow
Sheffield 4-44 T’ronno

Bonus 11 goals

Dewsbury 22-26 Toulouse
Featherstone 54-10 Swinton
Halifax 16-28 Leythe
London 48-16 Batley
Rochdale 8-16 Barrow
Sheffield 10-42 Toronto

Bonus = 7 goals

Dewsbury 18 Toulouse 24
Fev 46 Swinton 12
Fax 16 Leigh 32
London 52 Batley 12
Rochdale 20 Barrow 18
Sheffield 10 Toronto 36

Bonus - 8 goals

Here are my choices this week.
Dews 22 v Toulouse 26.
Fev 44 v Swinton 10
Halifax 20 v Leigh 24.
London 32 v Batley 12.
Rochdale 16 V Barrow 20.
Sheff 14 v Toronto 34.

The bonus points, I'm going for 8 goals.Charlie knows.

Dewsbury 16 - 24 Toulouse
Fev 48 - 06 Swinton
Fax 18 - 32 Leigh
London 42 - 12 Batley
Rochdale 18 - 26 Barrow
Sheff 12 - 52 Wolfpack

9 Goals scored

Dews 12 v Toulouse 38
Fev 32 v Swinton 4
Halifax 12 v Leigh 27
London 38 v Batley 4
Rochdale 10 V Barrow 12
Sheff 8 v Toronto 38

Bonus 6 goals

Dewsbury 20 Toulouse 26
Featherstone 40 Swinton 6
Halifax 18 Leigh 16
London 34 Batley 12
Rochdale 12 Barrow 24
Sheffield 12 Toronto 48

Bonus: 5

Dews 10 v Toulouse 32
Fev 28 v Swinton 14
Fax 20 v leigh 28 (I’m the same religion as B&B)
London 34 v Batley 20
Rochdale 16 v Barrow 22
Sheffield 10 v Toronto 34

Bonus = 8

Dewsbury 16-32 Toulouse
Featherstone 42-6 Swinton
Halifax 12-42 Leigh
London 36-16 Batley
Rochdale 18-8 Barrow
Sheffield 8-56 Toronto

Bonus 7

Dewsbury 16-28 Toulouse
Featherstone 38-8 Swinton
Halifax 16-28 Leythe
London 36-12 Batley
Rochdale 12-16 Barrow
Sheffield 10-38 T’ronno

Bonus: 7 Kicks

Just made it (crappy laptop)

Dewsbury 18 - 24 Toulouse
Featherstone 36 - 10 Swinton
Halifax 22 - 24 Leythe
London 46 - 08 Batley
Rochdale 12 - 18 Barrow
Sheffield 10 - 52 T’ronno

Bonus: 8 Goals

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this eventide to lament another sad loss for the once (aspiringly) mighty Leythe.

Another bad day for the side (seemingly collectively caught like a Rabbi in the headlights) and another sad day for the faithful of this flock. Our Doncastrian guest cannot be accused of apostasy (or, at least in the rote words of possibly the “djrunkisht” priest in popular culture, Father Jack Hackett, “Dat would be an ecumenical matter”) but he does have an edge over the indoctrinated of this parish, as he may predict a Centurion loss. As too, it seems, may westleighjim – the winner of this week’s Vicar of Bray Award.

Yea, even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, no evil should we fear for the Middle 8s can STILL be made.

Yea fear not, rejoice and be glad for Bongser brings you good tidings of great joy! L’enfant prodigue est chez nous encore. Whilst it is the wrong region of Canada and Bongseur’s French may not be what it should, after an absence of some time Vancouver Leyther is back and he’s tearing the pred standings up with an attendance mark, four correct victors (2 marks each) a correct margin (+3) and a bonus ball ( for 5). A week’s high of 17 points in total that in a single blow more than doubles his previous tally (even without the extras to come). Bongser tells all most solemnly that there is more rejoicing in The Towers over the return of one truant than over a battery of ever-readies and is most pleased to award a fattened calf 25 further points to this round's winner.

Now let’s hasten steadily (Zulu01’s brinkmanship lived up to his tagline this week – alas SaBadSel didn’t make it (SaBad, so sad)) to the Qu’ran standings. There’s no point doing this in reverse order as there is no hiding that the ongoing ruler of this Asgard is the Thor in all our sides (six weeks at Nº1). Yup, the Dalai lambchop himself:

1. Monsignor Caroli – 117
2. LeytherX111 – 94
3. Wanderer – 89
4. Atomic – 85
5. Bongser -84
6. Zulu01 – 63
7. Vancouver Leyther – 58
8. (Joint – s‘citin’!) Cokey, westleighjim & The Publican – 45 apiece
11. Jack Diggle – 36
12. SaBadSel -16

To complete (for good) this week’s religious theme, there is an ancient volume of illuminated, monastic manuscripts entitled “The Book of Kells”. Next week it will be Kells’ day in the sun as they take on the T'rannies and as we embark on a Challenge Cup special.

Bless You for Reading (Vicar of Dibley paraphrase) and (Dave Allen) may YOUR god go with you

“Pathé News (cockadoodledoo): those unwashed Northerners are again planning to bring their illegitimate version of the oval ball game to one of London’s many outrageously over late and overpriced White Elephant & Castle venues, namely one (or rather Mark Twain) Wombley Stadium. The latest eliminator to decide which two sets of ne’er do wells require hosing down before playing ‘neath the pointless architectural orgasm of The Arch takes place this weekend. We now go to our M62 correspondent, Bongser (sweet potatoes, man, I can smell you from here!)”

Thanks, m’lud.

Right! Challenge Cup Round 4 arrives this week and sees the introduction of all the Championship clubs (bar Les Crapauds – wish we could, full stop.) It could be a point fest. Please note, the earliest match takes place on Friday. We’ll only be postulating on the games that include Championship clubs, and here they are:

Friday:
Tie 1: Kells v Trannies

Saturday:
Tie 2: Normanton v Rochdale

Sunday:
Tie 3: Crusaders v Featherstone
Tie 4: Barrow v Sheffield
Tie 5: Batley v Leigh
Tie 6: Halifax v Oldham
Tie 7: Whitehaven v Dewsbury
Tie 8: Workington v London
Tie 9: York v Swinton

Bongser stresses that the above ties are the only ones on which we’ll be predicting. Usual point scoring applies for the correct winners/margins/scorelines but (as many of the ties are one-sided) the Pokemon Bonus will only be awarded for a full “collect ‘em all” nine (in the unlikely event of medium to long term postponements this will be applied to a minimum of six of the above ties).

Now to the Wacky World of Bongser’s Bonus Bonanza and what a bonanza it could be! Cup weekend can throw up some surprises as higher ranked clubs may field weakened teams and underestimate the “chance to shine esprit de corps” of their opponents. It’s a lottery and so will be the mega bonus points on offer. Remember, you’ve got to be in it to win it.

IF AND ONLY IF a poster correctly predicts one of the winners, he/she will then be entitled to another FIVE points if they correctly predict that victor’s opponents in Round 5. Complete chance here, no skill involved (assuming that you go for the right winner initially).

To simplify things, you need only predict the tie whose winners will face yours. So (ever the optimist), were you to post;
Batley 00-100 Leigh (v Tie 9)
you would mean that Leigh would be drawn to face the winners of the York v Swinton tie (no need to specify the home turf).

Bongser will provide a template on his next post to avoid predders incurring repetitive stress injuries.

Bear in mind that there are other ties (see below) and that Hull KR, Cats, Widnes & Wire (if Bongser recalls the seedings correctly) will be joining the party. The new entrants will be, albeit weirdly, assigned tie numbers too.

DO NOT PREDICT ON THE BELOW BARRING ROUND FIVE PREDICTED DRAW!!!!

Tie 10: Doncaster (hmm) v Newcastle
Tie 11: Coventry v Pilkington
Tie 12: Hunslet v Bradford
Tie 13: Catalans
Tie 14: Hull KR
Tie 15: Warrington
Tie 16: Widnes

Ts & Cs: On the “will face” side of the preds, no “v Tie #” may be duplicated, if it were to be, only the first would be marked. Bongser is smirking as he types this rider as he recalls a rock fan at school that filled in a multiple choice paper of 40 questions by choosing A-C-D-C ten times over and, against all odds (onto Phil Collins now) somehow managed to score zero.

Back to the studio.

“Are you drunk, Bongser?”

As a judge.

“Don’t you mean ‘As a Lord’?”

Yes, mi Lord!

“Northerners!!”