I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."

Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.

???

The inflatable school teacher in the inflatable school said to the inflatable pupil "as a result of you messing about with that pin, you have not only let yourself down but you have let me down and the rest of the class"

try saying WHALE, OIL, BEEF, HOOKED, without sounding irish

Mummy whats that inbetween your legs...
Oh its my sponge,
Why do you ask,
Its that i have just seen mi dad washing his face with the womens next door...



Two flies on a toilet seat,
One says to the other,
When you thinking of leaving,
The other one says when i get peed off..

Ive had enough of this says the other one...
Next week im going on the sick!!!

Load of kids in class,
Teacher says i would like a sentence with the word Definatley in it.......

Yes sarah;The grass is definatley green;Well done sarah,
Yes patrick;The sky is definatley blue ;well done patrick,
Little johnny;Miss as wind got lumps in it,no johnny why???
Little johnny well in that case ive DEFINATLEY shat miself...