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Quote: getdownmonkeyman "I once vomitted and soiled myself at the same time, whilst suffering with 'flu. Fortunately, I was in my bathroom at the time.'"
It took you a while to get on this thread. Come on, you've got worse stories than that and you know it icon_surprised.gifops:

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I once tried to fart silently through the hole in the top of a Lab stool during a Chemistry exam. Unfortunately it got caught on the edge of the hole and I delivered a rip snorter!!

You can tell how long ago that was...........I got the cane!!

[]
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Quote: 'Hitman' Norvern Soul "This place gets more like MSN or Facebook everyday.'"


[iIan [77] likes this[/i

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Quote: Moe syslak "It took you a while to get on this thread. Come on, you've got worse stories than that and you know it
I didn't require the services of a sock, due to being too mean to part with a quid.

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Quote: getdownmonkeyman "I didn't require the services of a sock, due to being too mean to part with a quid.'"
icon_thumb.gif

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Isnt this on the sin bin aswell??

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Quote: Mike10 "Isnt this on the sin bin aswell??'"


Yes, I like this one from the Sin Bin:

Quote: Mike10 "We were on holiday once staying on the first floor, we’d been there about a week and never set foot in the lift, then one day on returning from the beach, as we arrived at the stairway I saw the lift open, I ran and jokingly shouted I’ll race you, I jumped into the lift quickly turned round pressed number one, the lift set off and I was stood there with my nose against the lift door in anticipation of needing a quick exit to ensure victory. The lift stopped, I was ready to pounce as soon as the doors opened........ nothing happed, I pressed the door open button, still nothing happened, I heard the wife say, “Beat you!”

I pressed the button again, still nothing happened, I pressed number one, nothing, the wife said “Come on!”

“I can’t get out!” I replied, she just laughed, “Don’t laugh its not funny the lifts broke press the buttons on your side”, the damn woman was still laughing, I kicked the door, I was desperately trying to prise the doors open, at 30 plus degrees trapped in the lift, panic was starting to set in, I shouted for help, I pressed the alarm, the wife said “What you doing?”

“I’m trapped!” I told her, she was to hysterical to speak, "STOP LAUGHING"
icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif

fes
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Putting petrol in a diesel car.......................and I'm an engineer for a car company icon_surprised.gifops:

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Quote: fes "Putting petrol in a diesel car.......................and I'm an engineer for a car company
icon_lol.gif

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First time I ever went on a night in town, I was 17 and we went into Big Bar next to the Warrington Guardian because they used to let anyone in. After a few more drinks we got up and went to the dance floor. Little did I know it was lowered and ended up flat on my face.

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Walking into the loos of a bar in Manchester, spotting some birds on the left, and assuming I needed to go right.

At which point I walked into a mirror (and apologised).

Unisex loos!

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Quote: HJ Bird "And they say education has gone to the dogs.'"


Can't even spell my name, still got 4 A-levels.

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One time i really really wasted on drugs and alcohol, and I was with my good friend Pete Doherty. We had a new batch of 1 day old mice with us and I then posted a clip on Youtube with me and Pete with the Mice, pleading with my Blake not to split up with me and to not to divorce me. God they were bad days, they even tried to make go to rehab but i just kept saying no.

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I've got two which stand out in memory.

1) At Huddersfield Away last season, i was slightly intoxicated and after the 1st Half was utterly convinced that it was full time. It took alot of persuasion from Wolfette to convince me i was wrong.

2) After the Grand National this year, i was again slightly intoxicated, fell asleep on the Train from Liverpool and ended up in Huddersfield.

icon_biggrin.gif

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Quote: FuturoChampioni "I've got two which stand out in memory.

1) At Huddersfield Away last season, i was slightly intoxicated and after the 1st Half was utterly convinced that it was full time. It took alot of persuasion from Wolfette to convince me i was wrong.

2) After the Grand National this year, i was again slightly intoxicated, fell asleep on the Train from Liverpool and ended up in Huddersfield.


2 Huddersfield-based stories....I hope you're not coming with us this weekend..

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