I can think of loads.

Getting my zip stuck in my foreskin springs to mind. I knew it was a problem instantly by the noise it made, I didn't just nick it, I zipped half my manhood up. I couldn't fix it, so shouted my Dad, he tried to coax it out, my Mum was viewing, for some reason, and I honestly don't know the reason why, we seemed to have a house full of people round, unless word just spread, I can recall my Grandad having a good gander. Various pairs of hands trying different ways, methods etc.

I was only about eight or nine (I swear it wasn't last week.), and at that age your not sort of, that aware of embarassment really, but I can recall not kinda being cool with my entire family staring at my widge. Anyhow, my Dad sorted it somehow, I avoided hospital, just a bit tender for a few days, just imagine a blood orange, same.

When i was in school i had to get the bus there and back, from town to sankey, and one time on the way home i realised i didnt have enough money so i just payed half the fair and thought id get away with it, since the bus was full of schoolies. However, when my 'stop' came about halfway to town. the driver pulled over, turned around and said "somebodys getting off here, who is it? Im not moving this bus untill they own up to it"
So theres me at the back trying not to look at him, glancing inocently out the window, and yet the bus driver continued to stare at everyone, so in the end i just got up and walked down the bus and straight out the door, with everyone staring at me, and an evil look off the driver, it was well embarrassing haha im never doing that again

I've got loads so I'll start with something small and recent.

Left pub on Saturday slightly tipsy after the match and went to Tesco to get some food. I bought a chicken wrap, a Diet Coke and a Twirl chocolate bar. Went to pay at the self serve checkout and got through scanning the first two items. When I scanned the Twirl, for some reason the screen flashed up 'Assistance Required.' At which point I held the chocolate bar in the air and said quite loudly; "Do I need ID to buy this?"

Mates didn't let me forget it the rest of the night.

Tripping over a Muslim/Sikh woman who was kneeling down in Alton Towers yesterday knocking us both over

Oh yeah i forgot one.

I walked into Mcdonalds and asked for a cheese & onion pasty, the woman just looked at me weird

Completely forgot where i was

Snapped one of these once. Painful, and embarassing.

Some banjo strings are made to stretch...



Mi mate done his once blood everywhere i thought he had been slashed...

What do you call a Sikh in a night club, Dan Singh.

Hope you like these jokes, Amir all week.

valhalla isnt at alton towers

but yeah, valhalla was good when we went

at a Year 11 prom at my first school as a teacher me and my science teacher mate very drunk peeing up against the black glass of the posh hotel the do was at, only to find out that we couldn't see through the black glass into the ballroom where the event was, but that all the students and staff had been watching us through the glass stagger across the lawn and up against the glass to relieve ourselves. a verbal warning from the head ensued for the pair of us the following monday.

at the same school, with the same teacher forgetting it was parents evening until we had supped about seven pints each at the local pub. we arrived late and very sheepish.

rushing back to my classroom teaching a year 8 class and trapping the front of my trousers in the door handle and ripping my trousers from the front right the way round to the back. had dressed quickly that morning and not being able to find any clean under crackers just through on my dads bright red m+s Y fronts. Had to teach sat down til my girlfriend arrived with another pair of pants.

too many more to mention here...

York 79

And they say education has gone to the dogs.