Heard the one about the one armed Butler. He could dish it out but he couldn't take it.

Son asked his mother the following question:

'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and
replies,

'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his
father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

Why are mice homosexual?

Because they're scared of pussy [sizecats.[/size

A boy alk in on his mum who is lying Naked on the bed rubbing herself shouting "i want a man i want a man"

next day she goes out and pulls a man

So the boy lyes on his bed naked rubbing himsef saying "i want a bike"

Why did the washing machine laugh?

Cos it was taking the p**s out of the knickers!

In this area all the Geordie fans are calling their newborns Keegan. They're hoping the kid will walk after 8 months.

A bear walks into a bar and says, I'll have a.........................................................
...........................................................
...........................................................
pint of lager. The barman says, what's with the big pause.

The best engine in the world if the fanny. It takes any size piston, is self lubricating, starts with 1 finger and every 4 weeks does its own oil change!

Whats the difference between a ritz biscuit and a lesbian? One's a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker.

Shouldn't people remember this is a family site?

Ah sorry bud..

Q. Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?

A. Because it ran out of juice

whats pink and wrinkly and hangs out your pyjamas?






Your mam

why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?

coz from a distance it looks like hare