Wife fell down the stairs, 2 mins later she said "are you coming to help me". i apologised, i had heard the thud but i thought it was the end of eastenders

Kind of an accident but not really. A lad I know pulled a bird and was going round her house for the first time, she had told him that if there was no car outside, then her Dad gone to darts, the lad entered and walked straight upstairs and stood outside a locked bathroom door and said "i'm going to destroy you when you get outside" "No you're not you little sh*t" came the reply. The girl was outside bringing the washing in and her dad's car had broken down on the way home from work and he was having a shower after being covered in crap trying to fix it. The relationship didn't last long.

Most pathetic one was a few years back, opening a can of cat food with the old style tin openers that leave the can top really jagged, didnt open the can fully, so bent it up enough to get to the cat food. The cat was meowing at my feet, wrestling the food out the can, dropped the can, it was heading straight for my beloved cat Susie, so natural reaction tried to catch the can, missed it, slit right across my wrist on the jagged can top, hospital, stitches, and my parents thinking i was suicidal and self harming for months as they didnt believe my story

I did get a pair of Bauer Roller Blades out of it though as they were "concerned" lmao

In the last few minutes I've just caught my left index finger on the sandwich toaster and burnt it slightly.

didnt imagine you to be the hair straightening type

Iv stood on a soldering iron too that my dad left on and went to the pub, i know how you feel!!!

Rugby/sport injuries i'd be here all day, i'm the original biscuit.

Branded myself with a iron whilst trying to iron my jeans and watch phoenix nights. I screamed the house down

Suppose to take them off first...

When i was about 9 i was running around the house and caught the sharp corner of a kitchen cabinet and cut my head open. Still have the scar. Also cut my head open again when running around a skip in the driveway

this is a daily occurence!

lovely couple from me! when i was about 7/8 i was in our kitchen, old linoleum floor(things bounced if you dropped them) well got a knife out the kitchen drawer and dropped it when walking, bounced back up of the floor and stuck straight into my shin, walked into the living room balling my eyes out with a knife stuck in my shin, mum stuck some savlon on and a plaster, 3 weeks later it healed, still got a lovely little scar though.

also a month or so back, working at my halls of residence went to help a lad set up his internet in his room, and as i was leaving closed the door(big heavy fire doors) behind me, leaving a finger in it and bang, thankfully due to my cat-like reflexes avoided a nice shattered finger, and instead only ended up with a swollen finger for a month or so, was black as could be!