lad rings up social services and says i dont want to live with my mum or dad they say why? kid says because they beat me they ask who do you want to live with he says the england team because they never beat anyone

Freddie Mercury is summoned into a meeting to see God. God says "Freddie, as you were such a good person and you've been like a breath of fresh air up here, I'm going to reward you by allowing you to be reincarnated. What would you like to go back to earth as..?"

"Oh thank you," says Freddie. "I'd like to go back as the England goal keeper."

"That's rather unusual," Says God. "May I ask why..?"

"Certainly," Freddie replies, "I'll have ten assholes in front of me, 50,000 pricks behind me and I won't be able to catch anything!"

whats the difference between Heskey & a baby. A baby can dribble

WEATHER WARNING!!!! the North will be experiencing severe floods, this is due to the whole of Scotland pi$$ing them selfs laughing.
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News just in, Engnald have a new coach. It's picking them up from Heathrow on Mpnday.

after their non-performance at the World Cup, the England players are undertaking a frantic race to get home to their wives and girlfriends before John Terry does...

John Terry has confirmed that he was misquoted last week at the press conference. It was reported that he said he was missing his friends & family. What he really said was he was missing his friends family.

Asda are selling new type of Oxo cube with picture of the England football team on the wrapper.

It's called laughing stock.

The plane carrying the England football team back from South Africa has had to return as Robert Green didn't catch it...

I don't think we should be taking the pee out of the national side. They tried really hard & were worn out after a full season without a winter break.

Thats the best joke on here