at a Year 11 prom at my first school as a teacher me and my science teacher mate very drunk peeing up against the black glass of the posh hotel the do was at, only to find out that we couldn't see through the black glass into the ballroom where the event was, but that all the students and staff had been watching us through the glass stagger across the lawn and up against the glass to relieve ourselves. a verbal warning from the head ensued for the pair of us the following monday.

at the same school, with the same teacher forgetting it was parents evening until we had supped about seven pints each at the local pub. we arrived late and very sheepish.

rushing back to my classroom teaching a year 8 class and trapping the front of my trousers in the door handle and ripping my trousers from the front right the way round to the back. had dressed quickly that morning and not being able to find any clean under crackers just through on my dads bright red m+s Y fronts. Had to teach sat down til my girlfriend arrived with another pair of pants.

too many more to mention here...

York 79

Walking into the loos of a bar in Manchester, spotting some birds on the left, and assuming I needed to go right.

At which point I walked into a mirror (and apologised).

Unisex loos!

Can't even spell my name, still got 4 A-levels.

One time i really really wasted on drugs and alcohol, and I was with my good friend Pete Doherty. We had a new batch of 1 day old mice with us and I then posted a clip on Youtube with me and Pete with the Mice, pleading with my Blake not to split up with me and to not to divorce me. God they were bad days, they even tried to make go to rehab but i just kept saying no.

I've got two which stand out in memory.

1) At Huddersfield Away last season, i was slightly intoxicated and after the 1st Half was utterly convinced that it was full time. It took alot of persuasion from Wolfette to convince me i was wrong.

2) After the Grand National this year, i was again slightly intoxicated, fell asleep on the Train from Liverpool and ended up in Huddersfield.