that would depend on how long they've been dead for

Scrum-half: 'How many kids have you got?'
Full-back: 'Fourteen-all boys.'
Scrum-half: 'One more and you'll have your own rugby team!'
Full back: 'How many kids have you got?'
Scrum-half: 'Seventeen - all girls.'
Full back: 'One more and you'll have your own golf-course!'

An old boy got married to a young woman.He told his doctor she wanted kids.
"In that case " says the doc,"you had better get a lodger in".
A few months later the bloke went back to the doctor and told him his wife was pregnant.
"Did you do what I said and got a lodger in?" asks the doc.
"Aye" said the bloke"and she`s pregnant too."

Whats the difference between a magicians wand and a policemans truncheon?

The magic wand is used for cunning stunts.

bloke goes for a job on a building site foreman asks


'can you you brew tea'

'Yeah'

can you drive a fork lift truck'

'Fook me how bigs the tea pot'

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!


The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"



Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!


I thank you!!