I have been living next door to an out of work exorcist. Things are getting tougher for him, his house was repossessed last week.

I am so very sorry for this joke!!!!

not bad 4/10

was sacked from my job at the wines and spirits section at asda today. A polish came in and asked me to recommend a good port, I said ''Dover, now f--k off!!''

A couple of lads were caught by a copper climbing over the fence at the last Reds game.He made them go back in until the end of the match.

just came out of chippy eating fish and chips, tramp sat outside says "I aint had owt to eat for 3 days" I said "I wish I had ur f------g will power"

Dont know if it true about the Reds supporter who was so peed off he nailed his season ticket to one of the entrances.He calmed down after a couple of days and went back for it,only to find some mother had nicked the nail.

A man in a pub asks for a pint.

The barman says, "Sure, that'll be a penny."

"A penny?" exclaims the man. Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?"

"Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be fourpence."

"Four pence?" cries the man. "You're joking. Where's the bloke who owns this place?"

The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife"."

The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business

barton, gally top jokes 10/10

Latest Transfer News

Manchester City have sold Shaun Wright to Madonna!!!

how dare you bigpev

old chinese proverb says:man who walks through doorway sideways with erection is always going to Bangkok

"im not scared of the dark"
"im not scared of spiders"
"im not scared of becky taylor"
"im scared of my mates finding out that my dad is a UTD fan"

broke my record last night for continual sex,1 hour and 2min, then realised the frigging clocks had gone forward.