One word......MASTERPIECE

So . . . is that all we've got? Captains! Wakey wakey and crack those whips!

Calm down Calm down!!

My masterpiece is in work!

A little girl plays with her Godzilla toy
Until she stops and see's a boy
She walks up and she see's his balls
Not that sort, as rugby calls
He asks her if she'd like to play
She tells him yes but cant be late
She shouts ECTOMY…
We dont know why
She chucks the ball and starts to fly.
To the courtyard she says,
And like a pilchard, they start to play.

So random, it's genius.

I'll have a pint of whatever Terrace is drinking

Or smoking

Or dropping.

4 games for the Roughyeds sealed his fate,
He came over from the dark side in ‘98

With his baby looks he was the next young gun,
From the bench he watched Robbie show him how it should be done

He soon developed rubber lips & cauliflower ears,
His fans screams were soon turned to tears

Too young to remember Seabourne, Harkin, Fox & Robbie,
They made excuses because he could kick & was gobbie

When Jimmy & Tez left he couldn’t stop the rot,
Finally everyone agreed he knew his stuff, that tigertot

Like a rat he left the sinking ship,
Returning home to Pieland saved a trip

They stuck him in the middle just to pass the ball,
Madge soon realised he was good for naff all

By then he looked & kicked like a pilchard,
Fortunately they still had Super Pat Richards

But was he still their best 7, was he ec-
Tomy Leuluai was obviously on another planet

So what happened to the useless sod?
They named a quartet Paul Deacon is God-
Zilla

Stewards' Inquiry

Any results?

The results of the first elimination round are in. Many thanks to our stunning Guest judge, Shania, who has given you the following marks for your unexpectedly impressive poetic efforts. John Betjeman would've been proud.

The pimp 007- 6
Pumpety pump- 5
Lucky Luke 7
Mystic Eddie.... 2
Terrace singer- 5
Tiger tot- 4

This gives the following Team scores for Round 3

The Chloroform Rags A-Team - 10
The Nick Zisti Appreciation Society - 7
Paul Deacon Is God - 12 plus 8 bonus points as the winner of the round. Congrats Deacs.

Scores on the doors to date are thereforeSo the leaderboard reads thus
The Nick Zisti Appreciation Society 11.3
Paul Deacon Is God - 16

These scores go forward into the Elimination Semi Final

Now for the eliminationsThe Chloroform Rags A-Team
broadybull87 2 6 0 Totaldebaser 5 0.4 0 Total
Pumpetypump 0 1 5 TotalThe Nick Zisti Appreciation Society
bullinenemyland 4 3 0 Totaldddooommm 0 0 0 Total

The hibernating dddooommm bites the dust.

Paul Deacon Is God
tigertot 5 0 4 Totalbobsmyuncle 2 0 0 Total

This means that we have a tie in elimination spot between [ibobsmyuncle [/iand [imystic eddie[/i. Which in turn means it is now down to the Captain of [iPaul Deacon Is God[/i to decide which of his two underperformers is for the chop. Over to you. Mr Tigertot.

Right, here’s your next Challenge, and it involves those beautiful and intelligent creatures, Greyhounds.

Now, you can spend as much or as little time picking your selections as you like, from just writing down the numbers that first come into your head and leaving it at that, right down to going online and spending all week studying the form and cards.

Here’s what you have to do. You pick the greyhounds that you want to come First and Second in the first 10 races at each of the three chosen meetings; on Wednesday, Friday and finally Saturday. First race is usually 7.30 but please, don’t leave it till the last minute, to avoid disqualification.

All you have to do, for each race, is put the number of the dog you want to win, in the “First” column, and the number of the one you think will come second, in the “Second” column. That’s it.

Only 6-runner races count. So, obviously, Don’t put any number bigger than 6. And don’t put the same number twice in any one race, as your dog cannot come both first AND second so if you do, you are just wasting one pick.

Points will be scored as follows
RACE... First... Second
1---
2---
3---
4---
5---
6---
7---
8---
9---
10--

Belle Vue, Manchester Friday 14/12/2012
First 10 races with SIX dogs running.
[Races with more than SIX dogs will be IGNORED]
RACE... First... Second
1---
2---
3---
4---
5---
6---
7---
8---
9---
10--

Belle Vue, Manchester Saturday 15/12/2012
First 10 races with SIX dogs running.
[Races with more than SIX dogs will be IGNORED]
RACE... First... Second
1---
2---
3---
4---
5---
6---
7---
8---
9---
10--


Plenty of places to check the form and results, if you want to. One of the best is
rlhttps://www.sportinglife.com/greyhounds/results/rl

Don’t forget, that this is also an ELIMINATION round

Bradford, Bradford till I die
Red Amber and Black colours light the sky.
Awesome foursome, Godzilla statured men
Dominated forward packs, time and time again.
Found times were tough, and nearly went bust,
Omar stepped in, in Omar we trust.
Red Hall pilchards attempt Cardiactomy and plunder sky money
Doesn't stop us attracting sponsors, now isn't that quite funny?
Barmy Army follows, Franny's now our leader
Unused squad will get game time now Dewsbury is our feeder.
Long reign Omar and Long reign Franny
Long reign the Fat Dogs too
So watch out next, especially Kopout, cos the Bulls are after you!!!