Can you please add a punchline that is as funny as dboys?

A six-year-old boy spotted Albert Einstein walking down the street and decided to try out his favourite joke on him. "Mr Einstein! Why did the chicken cross the road?"

To which the famous physicist replied, "My young burgeoning mind, zee question does not have a definite anzer. Vether zee chicken crossed zee road or zee road crossed zee chicken depends on your frame of reference."

We do not understand time - it's a theoretical construct. Distance we do

As Professor Brian Cox points out - "The distance between the two points is the same - it’s given by what’s known as the metric, which describes the Earth’s surface. The travel time is usually shorter West-East...a consequence of the rotation of the Earth".

10 metres is 10 metres, wherever you are!

A point on the Equator "travels faster", than a point in the UK, in the sense that it has gone "further", in the same amount of time...but it's all, as they say, "relative".

So if your pitch is laid North South does it take less time to pass the ball to one wing than it does the other? Obviously this will then need adjusting in the second half.

This is some outstanding thread drift.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Indeed, but at this point in our season we're in serious [ineed[/i of a diversion.. any diversion.

What I want to know is whether the Toronto pitch would have made Chris Joynt more likely to fall over.

We do, but it is not as you claim. Cox was talking about local conditions. At near light speeds, all relativistic effects come increasingly into play, and the faster you go, the shorter the distance it is to get there. Until, at the speed of light, the distance to anywhere in the Universe is Nil.

As latitude increases so does the Earth's outward centrifugal force which counteracts gravity, thus reducing the apparent downward acceleration of falling objects.

Manchester at a latitude of 53.48°N is closer to the North Pole than Toronto (43.65°N). Thus the sight of Chris Joynt VOLUNTARILY falling to earth in front of his own posts would actually be EASIER to spot for an incompetent RFL official at Old Trafford than at Lamport Stadium.

I'm unsure as to how the difference in latitude would have effected Mick Wither's PHANTOM knock-on.

Because given the stadium location and pitch orientation, the ball was travelling broadly north-east > south-west, and would have experienced the Eötvös effect, which is a change in perceived gravitational force caused by the change in centripetal acceleration resulting from eastbound or westbound velocity; put another way, the gravitational effect due to the vertical component of the Coriolis force. The effect would have given the ball increasing weight and made it deviate more towards the pitch as a result of increased gravitational net attraction.

Also he was running onto the ball at the time which would have generated heat in his body and caused his fingers to expand slightly. This would have resulted in them being closer to the ball giving the fef the impression that they'd actually touched it. If he'd been stood still like the current Bulls attack then it would have been clear that he hadn't touched it.

If it is a 4G pitch then it probably has those little rubber ball thingies on it to even out the bounce. Therefor it wouldn't have mattered if he'd 'fallen' over as he'd have involuntarily have bounced back up. The whole history of SL would have changed. It's like a scene from 'Sliding Doors'.