God went missing for six days.

The Archangel Gabriel found him resting on the seventh day.

“What have You been up to?’’ he said.

“I’ve created the planet Earth and it will be a place of great balance,’’ said God.

“How do you mean?’’ said Gabriel and God explained.

“North America would be wealthy and South America would be poor.

"Over there I’ve placed a continent of white people and over there a continent of black people. There will be places that are hot and places that will be cold.’’


Gabriel was impressed and pointed to an area in England and said: “What’s that?’’

“That,” said God: “is Yorkshire, the most glorious place on Earth. There will be beautiful lakes, streams, rivers and hills, great music, architecture and sporting giants. The people from Yorkshire will be modest, intelligent and witty. They will be sociable, hard working and high achievers. They will be known throughout the world as diplomats and peace-makers.’’


Gabriel gasped in admiration, thought for a moment, and said: “But what about balance? You said there will be balance.’’

“Ah,’’ said God, nodding sagely. “Let me tell you about Lancashire

Ever wondered why the Saudis don't like the Flintstones but the people of Abu Dhabi do?

I found this was very relaxing when I was feeling stressed.

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An owl's just flown into the kitchen, dried all me cups and plates. Couldn't believe it. Must have been a Teat Owl.

To be honest it sounded a tad too much like government information from the Friday night telecasts from the (not very) sage committee. Still, it must be helping, I seem to be much more exterminated....sorry, a bit more relaxed now.

What do you call a French footballer playing Nintendo...

Thierry on Wii