Banter is supposed to be a back and forth exchange of deprecating wit. People seem to think it actually involves a single person saying anything they like to someone else.

That sounds like Mod's talk!

Agreed. Recently the word "banter" has simply become what you refer to anything from jokes to abuse, just so that it doesn't look like you've upset the person you've aimed it at. Doesn't mean how nasty or vicious the comment, if you say it's "banter", that's supposed to make it ok.

Banter is one of those modern words we now use. In the old days if you said something to somebody and caused offence you used to say "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you", now we say "It's only banter".

I think, from what has been said on here, that the abuse/banter was about the bulls still being on minus points.

To be fair, abuse and banter are largely the same, and much is in the interaction, the tone of voice, and the language used. However, if the only response your brain can come up with is to tell you to rip off a wiper blade, then, imo you are automatically in the wrong and you're definitely not the sort of person I'd want as a friend.