Here in Colombia, as a result of Russian hacking of the RFL's IT system, I have irrefutable evidence that our new owner is a Colombian drug baron, who will use our iconic brand name and stadium as a front for its European distribution and money laundering operations.
The delay is to do with agreeing Shakira's fees for fronting up the operation and appearing at an exclusive "The Northern Bulls" relaunch concert at the new Escobar Stadium, where the signing of the Burgess brothers, John Bateman, Elliot Whitehead, Dane Chisholm, Rohan Smith et al, as well as the continuation of the world's best Academy, will be formally announced ...