Dr Doolittle told me Jonathan Thurston was on his way to Warrington for a medical after hearing reports from his neighbours pet Chihuahua, who is friends with Thurston's dog, which is a cross between a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu.
This rumour was later confirmed by Elvis who was riding a flying pig followed by Lord Lucan on a unicorn.

To be honest, I feel a bit sorry for Swifty.

He's one of those unfortunate players who is very effective (he's always close to the top of our yardage total, breaks plenty of tackles etc.) but tragically unfortunate insofar as mistakes are concerned.

It's not that he makes mistakes. All players do. And many more than Swift. It's the NATURE of his mistakes. Whilst some players possess the kind of freakish luck which sees them only drop a pass or throw one directly into touch whilst the team is thirty points up and/or camped on the opposition line - guys like Swift and (worse still) Francis Meli are destined to make not just costly blunders, but SPECTACULARLY COSTLY blunders.

It doesn't matter that he only dropped one catch all game whilst others bombed four or five. It's the SPECTACULAR BLUNDER which fans remember.

Someone once said it's bad being a loser. But it's misery being an unlucky loser.

I know exactly what he means.

Please don't make excuses for him. He along with Dawson can be relied upon to make the same schoolboy errors week in and week out.

Don't talk rubbish. He might have one shocking game every 10 games but he usually comes back from that with an excellent performance. You're always on Swift's back.

Now now, your getting excited again.

Apart from his one in ten shockers(conservative) He is constantly making defensive errors and his ball handling leaves much to be desired.

It's looking like we've got Sandow though to join Lineham and Gidley. Already looking considerably more promising than your uninteresting, crocked bore of a backline who were totally inept against Leeds again.

I wish we were linked with high profile signings like O'Donnall and Quinlan. Wow! the earth seemed to stop spinning and superleague cried out with fear when Saints made those annnouncements.

Does that mean 2016 will be your year???

Might be, might not, who knows. What I do know is that your signings and backline have about the same amount of flair and excitment factor as the players on a table football pole.

and yet (without our No1 winger, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd choice full back) we sit so far above you in the table, how can this be?

Possibly only two points after this weekend mate. Wigan already look to be above us.

indeed, but how can we be ahead of wire at all if we are so poor and they are outstanding? i'm clearly missing something