The rate charl is cranking out kids she will be populating the third world soon.

and none of them will be mine

you sick sick man

It's a comp between her and kerry katona

you can have kerry

I'd rather dabble with myself


It'd be like throwing a chipolata down briggate

dont make me laugh, im hurting still

She could complain about your small organ and you could tell her it's the first time it's been asked to play in a Cathedral.

[iCourtesy West End Social Club circa 1975.[/i

Like a welly top or a clowns pocket.

[iMick Donecky Webster's Brewery, Halifax[/i

Katherine Jenkins is pretty but she's no Christa Ackroyd!

She's a goddess.

My ex. wife looked a bit like Christa Ackroyd but after she ran off to Torremolinos leaving me in a pit of despair even worse than when I found Rod Studd hiding in the airing cudboard when I came back from work early to lag the boiler.

"If I were to put your brain on a razorblade it'd look like a peanut on the M1"

My grandad circa 1980