Good on her mate

Me and Swarcliffe Rhino(or whatever he calls himself nowadays) will be in the Bramley WMC at some point tmora for the rugby so if your about and/or you have a spare few minutes from whats going on pop in if your about!

Take care mate hope she makes a full recovery, see you soon at a game if not.

McF,

After watching the rugby the other afternoon my mrs began surfing the t'internet and dilly-dallying etc so i said "ok, you surf the net im off to play on my PS3" she muttered "ok fine" but after my return from my computer im met with the crossed arms maneuver you have previously described and a furrowed brow. "you've been 3 hours!!!" she moaned. "and?" i replied. this did not go down well, should i have invited her to play on the PS3 with me?

I would suggest that you introduce her slowly to the PS3, try "Call of Duty - Matalan Ops" to start with and "The Jimmy Choo Chronicles" or other retail experience platform games, or alternatively get a Wii and have it chipped so that it will run the modified "Wii Fit" exercise board, the one that lies about your weight by minus 28 pounds and gives you a Wii age of 16 no matter how unco-ordinated you are on it.

Your computer will be yours once again, within hours.

I like McLaren_Field's thinking on this one and by lucky coincidence I have a Nintendo Wii for sale.......

I give you good price

Genuine fake?

What a bitch.

McF

How many Nolan's does it take to keep another Nolan quiet?

Mr field, my foot doesn’t seem to be healing and I have no one to turn to but you. You might remember the time when I dialled 999 and then spoke about my experience on the sinbin. It didn’t go down too well and I’ve been paranoid to contact a doctor ever again in relation to foot pain because of that experiance!

What alternative healing methods do you recommend?

It only took one of them to speak of her fathers sexual abuse to gob-smack all of them.

Well this is an interesting subject firstly because we don't know exactly what part of your foot is not healing so we'll start with your toes - if you are having problems with your toes and have reached the end of your tether with them then I always recommend a swift self-amputation* by means of slamming them in a door or standing too close to the edge of the pavement when a First Direct bus comes past, you won't be able to balance properly for a few days but as everyone knows a human's toes will re-grow in the same way that a starfish can re-grow a leg, if in any doubt then watch "Carry on Screaming" for confirmation, you even bear a resemblance to Oddbod so you've got a head start.

If however the problem is heel-related then can I recommend a Pifco Foot-Spa just like the one that we've had stored in our loft for twenty years having used it once when it was purchased and decided that it was simpler and cheaper to just sit on the kitchen worktop and dabble your feet in the sink, especially with the washing-up in the sink as swishing your feet around in the water tends to wash the dishes at the same time.

Having doused your feet liberally in the sink and done the washing up at the same time you will need to file down your heels, or "buffing" as women call it, I can recommend a No10 Stanley Rasp File, the one with the handles at both ends so you can get a really good grip, or alternatively try a Dewalt orbital sander set to "high speed" - the intention is to take off that tough heel skin which you will have softened in the sink with the washing up, press on quite hard with the orbital sander and you'll find good results especially if you have fitted the "very very co" sand sheets first.

I'm sure that after both of these suggestions you'll be walking just fine within weeks **


*RLFans are not responsible for any medical advice given out on these forums and neither is McLaren_Field

**Or alternatively, not.

I bought my wife a foot spa one Christmas. She used it once and flooded the lounge. then it took the usual route: garage, loft, dump. (sometimes items take the alternate route of loft, garage, dump, or loft, garage, charity shop, but usually if I can be bothered to get it out of the loft then the only reason is that it's going in landfill).

Damo, as for your foot, it would be less painfull for you to remove it with a blunt hatchet than to mention it on the Sin Bin again. I think I did actually try and defend you last time as the people giving you grief had all climbed on a horse so high they were bumping their heads on the moon.

Yes but be fair, calling an ambulance and asking to be taken to A&E for his toenails cutting was a bit OTT.

He would, but he's still banned

Wasn't there once a woman who called an ambulance because she couldn't peal an orange?