Clueless

100 Reasons why Leeds will go on to win at Old Trafford 2011

1. The now famous rubber glove is a good omen.
2. Cake is been promised as a reward to the players when they win at Old Trafford.
3. The win will finally pay off Gary Hetherington’s daughter’s wedding bill.
4. I spoke to a psychic and she told me something good will happen in October.
5. It’s written in the cloud formations that Leeds Rhinos will go on to win.
6. Against Wigan at Headingley, the crowd sang “we want our trophy back” and now Leeds are going to get it back.
7. They’ll be many ‘coffee table’ moments for Leeds Rhinos in the grand final.
8. The final chapter in Keith Seniors upcoming autobiography will be ‘champions again’.
9. The Rhinos will do it for the classic Leeds fans.
10. Leeds will just do it in order to wind up Huddersfield trolls.
11. Idiot Amin promises party in his homeland of Yewganda when Leeds Rhinos claim victory at the grand final again.
12. The sight of Lozzies red thong will make the opposition feel ill for the whole eighty minutes.
13. I’m sneaking David Charlton of the strangeways fame into the oppositions training room to do his ‘thing’.
14. Ramrod has promised every Rhinos player a free pad in Dubai when they win at Old Trafford
15. The Rhinos players understand the game better than any of the other players in super league.
16. It will be the perfect conditions on the day for Leeds Rhinos to go on to win at Old Trafford
17. Leeds Rhinos will take all the chances that come their way in order to secure victory
18. Nothing will stop the Rhinos from victory at Old Trafford whatsoever
19. The Rhinos always do what they want and they want to win the Grand final.
20. Leeds Rhinos players embrace every good opportunity in their way better than any other players
21. The loses against the big sides this year have all be an illusion
22. This is the year when Leeds Rhinos obtain their 5th super league title in the summer era
23. The squad rotation will see Leeds Rhinos through to victory at Old Trafford
24. The Rhinos will be celebrating in the Old Trafford showers whilst the opposition team will be moping
25. All that Preseason training on the farm is going to finally work off!
26. Leeds Rhinos have a phobia of losing at Old Trafford and haven’t done so since 2005
27. The Rhinos can’t and won’t tolerate another mediocre season ending with no trophies
28. The form is always on fire for the Rhinos at that time of the year
29. The blades of grass at Old Trafford will be in the Rhinos favour
30. I can feel it the air that Leeds Rhinos are going to go on and win at Old Trafford
31. 2011 is just going to end the same way as 2004, 2007, 2008 and 2009 for the Rhinos
32. Wheel’s chin will distract any opposition team from making any progress at the grand final
33. Leeds Rhinos have all the pull they need to take them to victory at Old Trafford
34. The best rugby league education in the world will be exercised in practise by the Leeds players at Old Trafford
35. Brian McDermott and every other coach at Leeds is just a fall guy at the end of the season because Gary Heatherington is the one that pulls the strings to ensure victory at Old Trafford
36. Things will just get better and better for the Rhinos players
37. It isn’t what you do, it's the way that you do it and that’s what will get Leeds Rhinos a result at Old Trafford
38. The Rhinos are scheduled for another victory at Old Trafford
39. The yodelling ferret will inspired Leeds Rhinos to grand final victory
40. The winning culture will return to the Headingley outfit come grand final time
41. Leeds Rhinos will be far too empowered not to win at Old Trafford
42. On the 8th October Leeds Rhinos won’t be the ones embracing loss unlike the opposition
43. Paul Gascoigne will offer to do his dressing gown, chicken, bread and fishing rod comedy routine to amuse the winners of the 2011 Grand final who will be Leeds Rhinos.
44. The healthiest team always go on to grand final victory and the healthiest will be Leeds Rhinos
45. The Headingley bin lady will pass on all the secrets that were chucked in the oppositions bins.
46. McLaren Field's Ouija mouse has predicted a Rhinos win at Old Trafford in 2011
47. Leeds will just win so that Simmi's Chippy has a rare day open for the winners homecoming
48. For a majority of Rhinos its win at Old Trafford or cheerio another year playing at Headingley
49. Somewhere along the way (prior to grand final victory) we’ll see a Wigan fan chuck her pint thanks to Leeds dominance
50. Muslamic ray guns is our secret weapon which will see Leeds Rhinos to clear victory at Old Trafford
51. Mick Gledhill has put money on in the bookies that the Rhinos will win f*** all this year
52. The Rhinos players will be sleeping on the comfiest beds in the world for a good night’s sleep prior to grand final day
53. The Rhinos victory at Old Trafford in 2011 will be so brilliant it’ll inspire Gary Barlow to pen his best ever song for Take That
54. Keith Seniors horse shall put the fear of god into the opposition team
55. Michael Macintyre will get a lifetime of material out of the oppositions attempt to beat Leeds Rhinos at Old Trafford
56. Gary Hetherington will pay shop assistants around Old Trafford to be rude to anyone from the opposition team
57. The Rhinos players will have the best cup of teas ever prior to the match
58. I shall leave a smelly sock in the oppositions changing room at Old Trafford
59. The protesters of Puerto Del Sol square in Madrid demand a better society and the Rhinos will help them realise that dream by becoming super league champions once again.
60. The three in a row winning spirit will be rediscovered at Old Trafford this year by the Rhinos
61. Garry Schofield has predicted that Leeds won’t do anything this year
62. Loyalty is always repaid at the Rhinos and it will be at Old Trafford in October
63. The Barmy Army shall sing Leeds Rhinos to victory in the grand final
64. Paul Caddick’s expertise is in building and he’s built Leeds Rhinos up as 2011 champions
65. The Rhinos would never give us a bad coach like Dean Lance again and thank goodness we have Brian McDermott who’ll lead us to grand final victory
66. Leeds Rhinos are getting the good end of the stick in the 2011 Grand Final
67. The Rhinos team will be harder, better, faster and stronger than the grand final runners up
68. My gran could put up more of a fight than anyone in super league can against the Rhinos
69. Leeds might be fooling everyone else with the decline act but they don’t fool me
70. The good times at Old Trafford will be shown by Leeds Rhinos
71. It’ll be Leeds Rhinos players popping the corks off of expensive Dom Perignon at the end of this season in celebration of victory at the theatre of dreams
72. Leeds Rhinos are on a mission and that mission will be complete with a victory in the 2011 Grand Final
73. Graham Murray gets secretly drafted in when Leeds are playing in the big games
74. The Ultra Girls plan to give the Rhinos team private gig where they sing with no clothes on
75. It’s the end of the world in 2012 and Leeds Rhinos will finish off as back to back winners
76. Earlier this year I was having a pint with a reliable source and he told me Rhinos will win
77. A note pad of secrets that Harry Houdini tried to take to his grave reside in Gary Hetherington’s secret collection
78. The opposition team will be plagued by bad luck thanks to sightings of black cats
79. Greatness is all that shall emerge from the Rhinos when they play at Old Trafford
80. Brent Webb’s boots are magic and will twinkle Leeds towards victory
81. The rugby gods will conspire to make it a Leeds win that day
82. I was talking to a maths genius and he told me that everything adds up to be a Leeds victory at Old Trafford
83. The Rhinos want to bring joy when they isn’t much thanks to the Tory’s been in power
84. I saw Jesus in my old man’s ashtray and I’m sure that I heard a voice that said ‘Leeds to be victorious at Old Trafford 2011’ from the great man himself.
85. TMFMISL doesn’t fear anybody and that fearlessness will see Leeds to victory
86. Jimmy Savile will make sure that it’s a fix and that Leeds Rhinos win.
87. The Silent singer from psychoville 2 will have a strange hold over the best players from the opposition team
88. Conspiracy theorist all agree that it’s a Rhinos victory at Old Trafford in 2011
89. Its’ written in the stars a million miles away that Leeds will come away with the goods in 2011
90. The opposition team will get stuck in traffic prior to the grand final kick off.
91. A lot of Rhinos players are at the end of their contracts and the only way of extending their stay at Headingley is by helping secure victory at Old Trafford
92. Phil Daly’s propaganda will terrify the opposition of what Leeds are going to do
93. Jason Davidson will have the Rhinos players in the peak condition of their lives
94. The ever present smile on Ali Lauitiiti’s face is a sign of good things to come
95. The fans belief in the Rhinos will see victory at Old Trafford
96. Brian McDermott has freshened things up at Leeds and now everything’s fresh
97. The pocket rocket is getting back to his devastating form of 2007
98. Kaizen and all its mythical powers will see Leeds Rhinos to victory in 2011
99. All the other teams will be worn out by October because rugby league is a marathon and not a race
100. A drunk told me that during an epiphany he saw Leeds Rhinos victorious at Old Trafford in 2011