I don’t mind playing them in the challenge cup but playing them in super league for three years is just hard to take -
220 Reasons why St Helens shouldn’t of been awarded a Franchise!
1. Its in scouse land.
2. There all scousers.
3. Only no how to do 2 things.
4. Speciallising in coal mining.
5. speciallising in glass making
6. Your only known because you opened the first fully man made canal.
7. Your just a small down in Merseyside.
8. You failed at being a home for a cotton and linen industry.
9. You failed at mining salt, lime and alkali pits, copper smelting and brewing.
10. All the old industries have left and become outdated
11. The name of your silly insignificant little town stretchs all the way back to the 16th century!!! Named after the "chapel of ease". LOL.
12. The chapel only consisted of a 'challis and a lytle bell. Both have gone missing, do I blame the high crime rate?
13. At the start of the 19th century, St Helens did not even exist as a real town! It was formed from the townships of Eccleston, Windle, Parr and Sutton. You've been stealing all your lifes, taking after the scouse way, are we?
14. With the population of a measly 176,000, with 74,000 houses.
15. There is approximately 19,300 offenses from "violance against the person" the english average is 16,700. Tut tut. A whole 2,600 over the english average.
16. The "theft of motor vehicle offences" is 4,700. The english average is 2,900. Again, naughty naughty.
17. The "Burglary dwelling offences" commited in the Metropolitan Borough of St Helens is 5,300. The english average is 4,300. A whole 1000 over the average. In a little town like yours. Ouch.
18. the "theft from a vehicle offences" commited is 8,600. The english average is 7,600. Again 1000 over the national average. Naughty Naughty.
19. Your little town was actully built both physically and metaphorically on coal. That in a way is embarrasing.
20. In 1913 the peak year of the mining of coal, with 1 million employed in the UK mining, the St Helens division of the Lancashire and Cheshire Miner's Federation (Your local miners' union) had the largest membership of that federation! 10%! So i think your whole town must of been mining, just imagine your population in 1913.
21. Your little town was served as a hub for the growth of Liverpool. You helped the scousers out even more. You became there leg rests really.
22. Your town used to have a clock tower with a steeple! BUT, this was destroyed in a fire in 1913. Now i wonder how that happened.. I dont have crime rates for 1913. But surely it couldnt of happened in 1913, everyone in St Helens was mining, werent they?
23. The glass industry you used to be so known for, the major employer it once was. Now isnt. But it still employs over 1000 people in the town! Now thats how much of the town.. Must be a major employer? Surely?
24. Merseyside is the poorest urban area in the UK.
25. Merseyside has low economic activity rates.
26. Below average business survival rates.
27. Very high levels of unemployment. Notably long term unemployment.
28. On average, merseyside has low domestic incomes.
29. Educational and skills levels well below those of the North West region and the rest of the UK.
30. This is all because of the lack of employment opportunites, due to no one having the money to open businesses.
31. Merseyside's resident population has continued to decline.
32. Structual decline in traditional high-employment industries over many years has contributed to this picture of Merseyside.
33. Merseyside generally had encouraged the rest of the UK to have a very poor, negative image of the area in the UK.
34. You have a similar name to Mt St Helens which results in many Japanese tourist accidentally stepping foot in your hole of a town.
35. Your people and players are reptilian as proven when Jamie Lyon came over and got sun burnt thanks for the weathers hatred for this town and your reptilian tolerance.
36. Your people never travel to other places so your council brings in an Urban beach every summer
37. You have such troublesome youth your council dedicates many of its WebPages about Youth Offending.
38. Your Mps worship the Devil and are the centre of the N.W.O conspiracy
39. A big night out in St Helens is going to the pub
40. You have well over 2000 takeaways (around 88 people per takeaway is a lot) in your area to cater your eating habits - a thing that we don’t want influencing on the rest of this country
41. The best you have to offer is Johnny Vegas and he’s done bad things
42. Search St Helens on Google Image and nothing will come up of the town and we want it to stay that way.
43. Your so desperate to be part of the world your hoping to have a tacky sculpture done by Jaume Plensa to represent your city.
44. The safety of the children of the city is zero as you only have 51 school crossing patrols in operation.
45. St Helens is where Knowsley Safari drops off all its animal droppings to be burnt making the air very smelly.
46. St Helens has yet to produce terrorist, but when they do it’ll be the end of the world.
48. You have no Television or Radiobroadcasters and we want to keep it that way
49. Your best ever club Nexus was blighted by underage drinking, drug dealing and aesthetics which means another club will never open in the town again.
50. Your taste in music is so bad your tourist board boasts that Eclectica 08 is the north west’s most exciting free event.
51. The fir Tree Farm Shop open day is the highlight of your yearly calendar.
52. You have down and out TV star Andy Abraham to switch on your Christmas lights
53. You all think that the visit of Czech Republic’s Victor Kolar exhibition of photographs
Is right up they with the exhibitions places like London and Leeds get.
54. Your tourist board considers the opening of a small art centre a dream come true.
55. The Club never makes any profit
56. The club always breaks salary cap laws
57. St Helens glass adverts were a load of rubbish. No wonder they got pulled of the TV.
58. Its got a girls name! How soft can you get???
59. Where no famous people come to call it home
60. Don’t have a music scene, if they did, they’d know what a cassette recorder was
61. Its Football club is so bad they’ve sold out to the American Dollar on their logo
62. Views Billinge Lump as its high point. Which means its low point must be pretty bad name-wise.
63. Very few people could locate St Helens on a map
64. Its more likely that St Helens would be referred to as an independent girls school
65. Has become a commercial clone town and lost all its originality by giving up its heritage.
66. If people hate Mt St Helens, what will they think of a town in the UK?
67. Plus, their football club’s home colours are a poor man’s version of sunderlands (if that’s possible)
68. The American version of St Helens has a jackass canyon. They must be saying something.
69. St Helens is latin for hopeless.
70. St Helens glass has no class. Worst slogan ever.
71. Has a worse stadium than Doncaster
72. Has a worse stadium than Widnes
73. Has a worse stadium than Feverstone
74. Has a worse stadium than Toulouse
75. Took the corruption of rugby league to the next level by having Ganson refereeing their games
76. Its just a small town in Wigan
77. The town is even considering having a statue of Kieran Cunningham erected
78. They have the biggest Chav following ever
79. Attendances only go up at Knowsley Road when Leeds are playing poorly
80. The town has the worse accents ever
81. They is nowhere to park in St Helens as the roads are full of burnt out cars
82. Your cheerleaders are men!
83. Your greatest fan is League Freak (He’s a closet fan)
84. You have the most fowl mouth fans in the land
85. You cheated Bradford, now your cheating Leeds
86. You have a terrible World Club Challenge record
87. You let go of the best player ever - Lee Briars
88. Your team is nothing but Millwards team and that’s why Daniel Anderson can’t get a job in Australia
89. Your town is into bread
90. You kill more ants than anywhere else in the world
91. Once met a guy on WoW from St Helens and I wish I never have done
92. Lots of rubbish to fall over in St Helens
93. Is the home of the worse drivers in the world
94. Your players have funny shaped balls (someone told me that)
95. The only market in St Helens is the Black Market
96. You produced the worse English winger ever in Ade Gardner
97. Your Terrace songs are rubbish
98. You will never produce a genuine karaoke star
99. You hosted the worse end of the century parties
100. I had the worse burger in St Helens
101. The only decent fish n chips is the one just outside your ground
102. Knowsley road is falling down
103. Morrison’s is more popular than you
104. You are a nothing team, with a nothing future
105. You will share your new stadium with a supermarket
106. St Helens have the worst unemployment rates in Merseyside
107. The only students that get further education in St Helens are the ones who are brought up in St Helens
108. Your best player you have right now is a head gambler
109. Your second best player prefers a night in Blackpool to a day on Bondi
110. Your team will never be better than Wigan
111. You never signed Sonny Bill Williams
112. Your only hope is Jamie Lyon and he’s long gone now
113. You will never score 70 against Leeds
114. Your team is known as and always will be known as "Dirty cheating houses"
115. Your people brave the worse perms in England
116. Your disliked by a respectable Facebooker known as Carol King from Manchester
117. You have a player who encourages the young uns to squeeze each others balls
118. Its people all go bin raiding super market sweep style
119. The fans have never got over the 27-0 creaming at Wembley
120. The lack of other sports in this city represents a dire future for the city
121. Once Sean Long goes you will never win a thing again
122. The only thing that keeps saints fans passionate is jealousy
123. You had Alec 'Dirty Twat' Murphy playing for you
124. St Helens introduced the game to 15 men (semi final)!
125. Sean Longs boyfriend has a pink Cadillac that looks suspiciously like the one from Shameless
126. St Helens are tramps who should go get they own groups on Facebook according to respectable Facebooker Hayley Gurhy from Manchester
127. St Helens is so small they don’t even have a network on Facebook
128. People from St Helens are so sad they have created a big wooden snake society that used to rot in their city centre (currently has 967 members on Facebook)
129. The people of St Helens think that Primark is Royalty clothing!
130. St Helens is full of people who think they are in Lancashire and not Merseyside
131. St Helens is the home of bad parking
132. You have people who have never left the town and think that you deserve to be the future European Capital of Culture 2057
133. You have a high rate of teenage pregnancies in the town
134. Aladdin is the highlight of your theoretical calendar
135. St Helens is the only town in England that wants a Nandos after that Critinao Ronaldo wink
136. People in St Helens would even consider spending Christmas Eve and New years Eve in St Helens.
137. You only have 67 lads as shown on the Facebook group St Helens lads
138. You consider Dale on big brother a local hero!
139. St Helens has very few pretty people
140. Toulouse have better weather
141. Feverstone is more cultured then St Helens
142. Leigh has better corner shops than you
143. Widnes have better cheerleaders than yours!
144. Halifax is more picturesque than St Helens
145. You have no decent shopping facilities
146. All your public loo’s are porter loos
147. Your fans once gave me the evils as a youngster
148. Your fans are the most arrogant ever
149. People flock from all over Merseyside on match day when Leeds fans arrive in town to nick our cars
150. Many fans who have visited Knowsley Road bare scares from tripping up
151. All your fans will go back to supporting Wigan once they are back to they best
152. St Helens is full of Emo’s
153. The town is just one big red light district
154. Your best forward likes to spend his nights out at grab a granny nights
155. The only people who smile in St Helens are the people leaving St Helens
156. You are known for your infamous bottle top festival where you pelt each other with bottle tops year after year.
157. You have the biggest Jonas brothers fan base in the UK
158. No one from your city has ever topped the charts and performed on TOTP
159. We all hate scousers
160. People from Feverstone are more tolerable
161. Leigh represent more hope for rugby league to grow
162. Widnes would win everything next year if they where in SL instead of St Helens
163. People from Halifax make better Sunday dinners
164. Feverstone has a bigger fan base than St Helens
165. St Helens will never have its own Wigan Pier
166. You do not have one decent MC
167. Your chairs are made by wood and evidently rotting away
168. We don’t understand a thing anyone says from that town
169. Your people have terrible manners
170. Your town isn’t fit to walk a dog
171. No one from your town will ever contribute to the Olympics ever
172. Your town is the biggest contributor to global warming in the UK
173. You will never have a Puig Aubert
174. Darren Albert was never really that fast (Calderwoods faster)
175. Your best forwards a ginger
176. Your second best player is a violent person
177. Van Vollenhoven’s rugby league debut was a disaster
178. You will never have a player as good as Eric Ashton
179. You will never have better coaches than the coaches you have seen at Wigan and Leeds.
180. You wasted 30K on Mal Meninga
181. Your are home to the most undiscovered meanest Mod on the net - Doogle
182. Your fans even struggle to come up with 101 reasons why your are better than Leeds
183. Your youths even break glass at the GWP
184. Rugby League is the only hope for St Helens as is Leyland and Chorley.
185. Your council is more interested in building a new stadium than solving poverty in the area (sounds like the same tactics that the south African government are doing for the 2010 football world cup)
186. It was two St Helens lassies that originally starred in the two girls one cup video
187. You ban AP from your forums because he rips you up so good
188. Your pre-match entertainment is a bore
189. Your glory days are coming to an end
190. The town is in rapid decline
191. Your club is in secret planning to eventually relocate the club to Liverpool
192. You will never have SL best fullback unlike Leeds and Wigan have
193. The town has social ties with Stuttgart in Germany (not surprised as Stuttgart is one of Germany's largest wine-growing cities)
194. The town can only boast of a four star hotel
195. You produced one of the worse commentators ever in Ray French
196. Richie Spedding would rip St Helens apart
197. Violence is typical coming from your area having produced Former Cage Rage Heavyweight Champion Rob Broughton.
198. The only good motorcycle driver you ever produced is Geoffrey Ernest Duke
199. A rubbish darts player hails from the town called Alan Tabern
200. Knowsley Road shares its ground with a football team!
201. St Helens hails no notable boxing champions
202. Fans are getting fed up of their tires been let down whilst watching the game
203. The town will never produce any international super stars
204. When I’m down they people always suss out that I’m not local
205. People of the town don’t clean up after they dogs
206. Knowsley Road is your only tourist attraction
207. Richard John Seddon hated St Helens so much he emigrated to Australia
208. You call each other Woolybacks
209. Your home to The Burgies meaning producing mutant locals
210. Your economy is based on sales from the magic mushrooms on The Burgies
211. Louise Glover could have been killed if she stayed in her hometown
212. If someone from St Helens gets to go on TV its to talk about fraud (Owen Roberts)
213. You have a terrible movie director in David Yates who hailed from the town
214. Paul Harris has introduce Britain to many years of terrible dancing
215. St Helens has dire house parties
216. Your hiding Osama Bin Laden
217. Anything that was good of the city apart from the rugby is now long gone
218. Most of the towns population are members of Alcohol Anonymous
219. Three quarters of the population of the town is over weight causing mass floods elsewhere in the world
220. This list will be more famous than the town its self
