I won't.

I will buy the shirt as a contribution to the testimonial though. Although the club could make that easier by making them available online. I'm going to have to pick up the phone at this rate. I feel exhausted just thinking about it.

I dunno. If you cast your mind back far enough you can probably remember how expensive major finals can get, people probably have to save their money.

Or even testimonials, players don't stick around that long at the Dave Whelan football ground these days and those who do have to get so of their tits on coke they end up getting banned.

We can make all the excuses we want but the attendances for these lads testemonials have been appalling given the loyalty they have shown our club.

Yet further anecdotal evidence that we have the worst set of fans in Super League.

As for the game itself, very dour, appalling conditions but Buderus and McGuire shone with some neat touches and good interplay between Delaney and Donald. Bradford had by far the better of territory and posession but lacked our cutting edge.

You probably wouldn't feel like attending a testimonial for those players.

Where does all her money go? Straight, straight up her nose.

Go on, you're selling it to me, I'm interested...

Smith isnt spelt G-I-B-S-O-N

You mean you're a drunken, racist, religious zealot with a history of infidelity?

A little misunderstood, thats all.