That's probably illegal albeit entirely acceptable.

Using a ferret as an assault weapon is not a great idea as they can get a bit mardy after use...

That's true

Richard Whiteley (RIP) can testify to this!!!!!!

They can, but if you persuade them to swallow a couple of snooker balls first they make such an effective weapon that the downsides are all but irrelevant.

Good call...go with it

To shout "I'm the Daddy now" after impact really adds to the occasion

Parkin passes the "Does it go with a freshly brewed strong black coffee?" patented test and so has gained the "Its a CAKE!" sticker.

Anyway, as for parkin in London, not being able to find parkin in London is the penalty you must pay for being in London, for all its boasts about being the capital, being the best, being the richest, having the biggest - its incapable of producing a simple ginger based bonfire night cake - pathetic.

So think on - if you must go to London then expect to be disappointed, you will always be disappointed until you return to Yorkshire. (the JerryChicken rule of life #42)

I still come home to Leeds on a regular basis and therefore am able to get...

a proper pork pie
a curd tart
PARKIN
genuinely good fish and chips
a match at Headingley (not always as uplifting as the rest of these items)
& spiritual nourishment of various sorts including views of the Heavy Woollen District, The Dales and Whitby

You can take the boy out of Leeds but you can never take Leeds out of the boy etc.