FORUMS > Leeds Rhinos > Ryan Bailey |
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| Quote: Superted "Yep - let's take the individual in this circumstance out of the equation...
Clearly it would be difficult, it's always difficult to admit when you've got a problem - particularly one of such a sensitive nature. Having said that though, whilst the banter and taunts can be ruthless at times, in every rugby team I've been involved with, there is also a deep mate-ship and support network that come together whenever one of their own is doing it tough (whether that be personal issues, form drops, injuries etc), so there is no need for it to be tough - I genuinely believe if someone has an issue of this sort, the first priority of the team would be to support their mate and do whatever they can to help - sure after time here will be banter, taunts, digs about it (and yes it can be brutal), but that's part of the team environment, I'd be disappointed if that didn't happen if it were me on the receiving end as it would mean I was being treat differently...
Going public with your struggles to the media is something entirely different - if it's done to encourage more people to speak up, then great - but again, the cynic in me also believes it is occasionally done to try and justify or reduce the consequences of ill-discipline.'"
Complete nonsense. The ignorance and lack of support for Mental Illness in Men is unparalleled, and in employment more so. I would expect Bails to more hide behind a "Hard Bloke Front" to explain his behavior rather than admitting "Weakness" in a Mans Sport for Manly Men. A select few may have known prior to his announcement, but not many. When you suffer from Depression, you wear a Mask to hide your true self. This mask could be the Clown, the Hard Bloke, the Ladies Man, anything, but it's not the real person, and it's a coping mechanism to get through each day.
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| It seems utterly bizarre to focus on a handful of (alleged) instances of faked depression in the face of the statistical evidence and peer-reviewed literature that confirm depression to be both widespread and under-reported within the population. As for knowing Bailey for 25 years, I dare say Gary Speed's death - just one example of many - came as a shock to some who'd known him for a similar period. Many people show a tremendous capacity for hiding what's inside.
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Club Owner | 1606 | No Team Selected |
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Oct 2003 | 21 years | |
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| Quote: Clearwing "It seems utterly bizarre to focus on a handful of (alleged) instances of faked depression in the face of the statistical evidence and peer-reviewed literature that confirm depression to be both widespread and under-reported within the population. As for knowing Bailey for 25 years, I dare say Gary Speed's death - just one example of many - came as a shock to some who'd known him for a similar period. Many people show a tremendous capacity for hiding what's inside.'"
I've not got a focus on a handful of alleged instances, and am well aware of the under reporting of the issue - I merely commented on my cynicism of this 1 particular case - for reasons I've pointed out.... And to be honest, it's going public to the media that raises my suspicion - some will feel he's done this for the greater good, to break down barriers linked to mental health - Knowing the individual, I choose to believe it's been done for cynical reasons to try and get the Wire fans onside - make them forgive and forget his past misdemeanours, it ties in with his need to show them he's a 'reformed character' and worth a shot...
Do you accept that false claims ever happen?
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| Quote: Superted "I've not got a focus on a handful of alleged instances, and am well aware of the under reporting of the issue - I merely commented on my cynicism of this 1 particular case - for reasons I've pointed out.... And to be honest, it's going public to the media that raises my suspicion - some will feel he's done this for the greater good, to break down barriers linked to mental health - Knowing the individual, I choose to believe it's been done for cynical reasons to try and get the Wire fans onside - make them forgive and forget his past misdemeanours, it ties in with his need to show them he's a 'reformed character' and worth a shot...
Do you accept that false claims ever happen?'"
The greater good may well not have been a factor in his decision to go public. Relief at knowing what's been wrong and the lift that comes from a recovery could very easily be causal in terms of wanting to talk about it.
False claims? I don't personally know of any but accept that they're probably sometimes made by those hoping to avoid jail and the like. Seems unlikely Bailey would play for the sympathy vote in this way; if he stopped to think about the reaction to his going public - and I'm not too convinced he stops to think a great deal - then I'd have thought he'd expect much the same response as you've given.
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| Quote: Middleton_Loiner " When you suffer from Depression, you wear a Mask to hide your true self. This mask could be the Clown, the Hard Bloke, the Ladies Man, anything, but it's not the real person, and it's a coping mechanism to get through each day.'"
Some undoubtedly do. Those I have encountered have been fairly obvious, not that they have necessarily got the best help. You could justifiably argue there are many people I know who are hiding it. I think with Bailey he is more mentally weak than 'just' depression. The times I have heard him speaking he really struggles to put an articulate sentence together. Those with a poor education & background often do. I come from a background of low expectation & ambition. A lot of people I grew up with, when under emotional stress, resort to extremes, often violence, as they don't have the capacity or opportunity to express their feelings any other way. I don't like the labeling of people as depressed, paranoid, or whatever. That is often too convenient & an excuse to start pumping people full of drugs. I know they can give some relief, my father died last year with dementia having consumed a cocktail of prescription drugs that would make Keith Richards wince.
What numerous people would benefit from is mental stimulation & just to talk, which I think is what Bailey did with Sporting Chance. Stuffing people with mental problems with numbing drugs so they will quietly sit in front of a TV in a nursing home, overseen by well-meaning 17 year old girls does neither.
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| Quote: tigertot "Some undoubtedly do. Those I have encountered have been fairly obvious, '"
And you'd know this how, exactly?
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| Quote: Clearwing "And you'd know this how, exactly?'"
Because I have enquired about their welfare or spoken to them.
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| Quote: tigertot "Because I have enquired about their welfare or spoken to them.'"
And the ones that aren't obvious?
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| Surely Bailey must have been diagnosed with this condition before going public ? Hasn't he been having treatment from a well known clinic? And After Tony Smiths statement about Bailey I tend to believe him.
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| Quote: Clearwing "It seems utterly bizarre to focus on a handful of (alleged) instances of faked depression in the face of the statistical evidence and peer-reviewed literature that confirm depression to be both widespread and under-reported within the population. As for knowing Bailey for 25 years, I dare say Gary Speed's death - just one example of many - came as a shock to some who'd known him for a similar period. Many people show a tremendous capacity for hiding what's inside.'"
I'm sure their could be under reporting of depression within our population, but it would be extremely naive to think that "fake" depression is not also under reported. Unfortunately, human nature is to take advantage of anything that could could possibly give us a bit of a "leg up" in certain situations. Fake depression will be used as a tool by many people on a daily basis in this country, it's just the way society works. As depression becomes more widely diagnosed, a number of those diagnosed, possibly growing, will be bogus. I've known more than a handful of people feign depression, to receive enhanced redundancy payments, to receive a smaller prison sentence, and some to just make their lives generally easier for themselves. I've also lost friends to suicide, and have wider family members that are diagnosed and medicated for depression. Depression is a terrible thing to suffer, but also it has become more acceptable to "adopt" the condition when it suits certain people's circumstances.
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| Quote: leeds owl "I'm sure their could be under reporting of depression within our population, but it would be extremely naive to think that "fake" depression is not also under reported. Unfortunately, human nature is to take advantage of anything that could could possibly give us a bit of a "leg up" in certain situations. Fake depression will be used as a tool by many people on a daily basis in this country, it's just the way society works. As depression becomes more widely diagnosed, a number of those diagnosed, possibly growing, will be bogus. I've known more than a handful of people feign depression, to receive enhanced redundancy payments, to receive a smaller prison sentence, and some to just make their lives generally easier for themselves. I've also lost friends to suicide, and have wider family members that are diagnosed and medicated for depression. Depression is a terrible thing to suffer, but also it has become more acceptable to "adopt" the condition when it suits certain people's circumstances.'"
Which completely misses the point that there is a massive stigma attached to mental health...we're in catch-22 (the book) and one flew over a cukoos nest territory here - to fake depression you'd probably need to have a mental health issue!
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| Aside from the vocal minority, there are some really inspiration posts on here.
My father is bi-polar (and has been basically for all my life) and I've recently admitted to myself/been diagnosed with depression. Thankfully I have a really good gp (my dad on the other hand doesn't).
It's and the stigma/perceived stigma is huge. Literally the only people that know about my diagnosis (about 6mths in) are my GP, my therapist and my wife. I can guarantee that any of my friends or colleagues would be utterly suprised if I told them. Like most (male) depressives I am f*ing amazing at keeping up appearances.
So anyone like bailey that can come out publically deserves respect in my book.
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| I think it'd be good to share one of the best quotes I've come accross, its from the author Matt Haig and sums up depression and anxiety way better than I ever could...
Quote: Matt Haig "Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time.
It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive.
It’s wanting friends but hate socializing.
It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely.
It’s caring about everything then caring about nothing.
It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly nothing.'"
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| That is spot on.
My head feels like a contradiction all the time.
I nearly took my life mid December just gone and if only for a random drunken accidental phone call off my sister at 0130am early Saturday morning, i wouldn't be here now, notes written, finances sorted all plans in place sat in a country lane in Codicote, Hertfordshire.
Part of you wants to go and another part of looks for anything, any small reason to keep you here. Every day through November and December i had an internal fight to carry on or end it and it was a fight i only recently won due to heavy support and strong medication and me being honest, you need to reach out to people otherwise it can overtake you.
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| Quote: Wire Yed "That is spot on.
My head feels like a contradiction all the time.
I nearly took my life mid December just gone and if only for a random drunken accidental phone call off my sister at 0130am early Saturday morning, i wouldn't be here now, notes written, finances sorted all plans in place sat in a country lane in Codicote, Hertfordshire.
Part of you wants to go and another part of looks for anything, any small reason to keep you here. Every day through November and December i had an internal fight to carry on or end it and it was a fight i only recently won due to heavy support and strong medication and me being honest, you need to reach out to people otherwise it can overtake you.'"
Your honesty is massively impressive, glad you got the help and support you needed.
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